"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Reddit, but I've decided to break the rules of my own competition, and I will not be reading a user-submitted entry as my monologue," begins the monologue Samuel L. Jackson read straight from Reddit, which is a very disappointing way to start things off. But don't worry: The actor the Internet loves to meme didn't actually go back on his promise from earlier this week — that he would recite, on video, the day's most up-voted comment on Reddit, to raise money for Alzheimer's research. He just changed the rules because he was onto 4chan, and that opening line is all a part of the schtick in the (super) user-generated Reddit monologue, the full text of which you can read here. Although, really, you might as well just watch the video above, because it's full of signature Samuel L. badassery.
Besides Jackson's opening declaration — "I've decided to break the rules" — it's easy to reach the conclusion that Hollywood's favorite hardass lied because, well, the monologue isn't at the very top of Jackson's Reddit post from Wednesday, where it should be. For that, however, we can blame 4Chan users, who hijacked the post in an attempt to rig the contest, upvoting their own submission that would make Jackson sound like an "Internet tough guy." Jackson, however, got wind of this, updating his original plea with the following: "Alright Reddit and 4chan(Don't think I don't know about you muthafukkas)." Just look at all these deleted comments on his original thread:
Blame 4chan, but Jackson ended up picking his own favorite — not the one 4Chan wanted, by the way — from amongst the popular suggestions, as he explained in another update: "To clarify how I chose the winner, this feed was a muthafukkin mess, it was easier to tell which ones got the most death threats rather than the most upvotes, so out of the top ones I chose the one that I felt was the most badass," he writes.
Those brilliant missives that didn't get picked, though, do have another chance. Because of the success of his stunt — Jackson raised $100,000 for his cause — he has offered to make a second video. And as Samuel L. says in Video No. 1, the 4chan crowd has been warned: "You really think you're going to get away with this?"