THESIS 1: "Printers, unlike other technologies, are remarkable in the fact that they're just as crappy and unreliable now as they were in 1995"
THESIS 2: "It is my belief that they were sent here to inspire rage, loathing, and murder in the hearts of all mankind"
RAGE-INSPIRING PRINTER ASPECTS COVERED: Purchase, setup, software, noise, "photo quality" printer, paper jams, error messages, ink cartridges, ink colors, ink expiration dates, "unfortunate timing" of complete printer meltdown ("when you're trying to print out a report that's due the next morning")
MODE OF ARGUMENT: Witty sentences, helpful illustrations, and an occasional graph
SAMPLE SENTENCE: "I've always wondered what one robot screwing another might sound like. Thanks to my printer, now I know."
SAMPLE ILLUSTRATION: (For full effect, click through all 12 stages of printer misery)