One-time Clinton confidante-turned-conservative pundit Dick Morris has returned to Newsmax.com to pronounce that Texas Gov. Rick Perry could make a comeback in 2016. Sorry, Rick. That pretty much means it will never happen.
This is a somewhat hoary joke in the political-punditry world, the idea that Dick Morris' predictions are so notoriously bad that you can generally assume that the opposite is true. And, to be fair, Morris' broad point about Perry isn't bad. Perry's done a lot to rehabilitate his public image since the debacle that was his 2012 campaign. To make his case that Perry could have better luck in 2016, Morris uses the also-hoary "the next Republican in line usually wins" argument, although he has to displace a lot of Republicans that did much better than Perry before he can give Perry the mantle.
But we come not to praise Dick Morris, but to bury him. After MSNBC's Benjy Sarlin tweeted the joke, I was inspired to take a look at the Dick Morris archive at NewsMax.com. Below, original headlines of articles that Morris wrote during his first 2007 – 2011 run with the website. I bolded my favorites, and also pulled out three examples of back-to-back posts that basically contradict each other.
The 2008 campaign
- Aug. 26, 2007: Hillary's Running Mate: Dodd or Richardson?
- October, 2007: Al Gore Can Beat Hillary
- Dec. 5, 2007: Hillary, Rudy Will Prevail After Losing Early
- Dec. 21, 2007: Huckabee, Romney Battle Looms
- Jan. 23, 2008: Hillary's Plan to Lose South Carolina
- April 28, 2008: Is Hillary Slamming Obama for a 2012 Run?
- May 5, 2008: Iraq Issue Could Destroy Democrats
- July 30, 2008: More Women Choosing McCain Over Obama
- Aug. 7, 2008: Bad Economy May Hurt Obama
- Sept. 2, 2008: Sarah Palin Is a Godsend for McCain
- Sept. 19, 2008: Political Map Shows Huge Turn Toward McCain
- Oct. 15, 2008: ACORN Could Cause Obama's Fall
- Oct. 20, 2008: 'Joe the Plumber' Presents Winning Strategy for McCain
- Oct. 31, 2008: McCain Surges Among Young Voters
The Obama presidency
- Jan. 12, 2009: Obama Neutering Intelligence
- Feb. 2, 2009: Stimulus Could Trigger Rampant Inflation
- Feb. 20, 2009: Obama AWOL in Terror War
- Mar. 5, 2009: Coming Next Year: Obama's Inflation
- June 3, 2009: What Is Keeping Obama's Numbers Up?
- Aug. 19, 2009: Obamacare a Death Panel in Itself
- Sept. 29, 2009: Second Economic Downturn Likely
- Oct. 1, 2009: Obama Surrenders U.S. Economic Sovereignty
- Nov. 20, 2009: Obamacare Will Trigger Huge State Tax Hikes
- Jan. 22, 2010: We Can Defeat Obamacare
- Feb. 9, 2010: How Republicans Will Win the Senate
- Mar. 18, 2010: Obamacare Would Prompt Devastating Medicare Cuts
- Mar. 19, 2010: Democrats Don't Have the Votes for Healthcare Takeover
- May 12, 2010: Obama's Spending Leaves US Open to Greek Tragedy
- June 9, 2010: Obama's Double-Dip Recession
- June 21, 2010: Newt Gingrich for President
- July 13, 2010: GOP Will Take Both the Senate and House
- Aug. 31, 2010: How Republicans Will Win the Senate
- Sept. 7, 2010: Obama's Stimulus Creates High Unemployment
- Sept. 8, 2010: Democrats Poised to Lose Senate and House
- Sept. 24, 2010: Republicans Poised to Take Over New York
- Sept. 30, 2010: Republicans Will Win Both House and Senate
- Oct. 22, 2010: Republicans Might Clean House in New York
- Dec. 9, 2012: 2012 Bad Time to Be a Democrat
- Feb. 1, 2011: Obamacare on Life Support
If you are an employee of Rick Perry's, don't read him this post. It will just depress him.