"Grab Your Guns," the Mossberg firearms company suggests on its page announcing a new line of weapons co-branded with the Robertson family of Duck Dynasty fame. Which is precisely what this debate needs: more firepower.
As CNNMoney reported on Thursday, the gunmaker has partnered with Duck Commander, the product line that made the Robertson family its dynasty-making fortune. Here are the guns, a line which includes a number of shotguns, a few rifles, and a handgun. For $509, you can own the 33-inch .22-caliber semi-automatic rifle above. Each weapon includes the Duck Commander logo and trademarked slogan: "Faith. Family. Ducks." In case you forget your life's priorities, they're right there on your shotgun barrel.
"Let's go kill some ducks, boys," Phil Robertson himself says in the video promotion above. "Mossberg. Built rugged, proudly American. Just like us." In another, he makes a not-very-subtle religious reference: "Where there's a design, there's a designer. We were designed to kill ducks." Also, to be on television and sell television shows and duck- and television-related merchandise, as it was written.
Robertson, of course, was (very) briefly suspended from taping A&E's hit show after comments he made about gays and black people were published by GQ. In the wake of that suspension, the family released a statement defending Robertson's comments as being motivated by his religion, a defense that resonated with conservatives. Making this particular cross-promotion a pretty brilliant one, from a money-making and timing perspective.
Not all of the guns are actually designed for duck-killing, CNN Money notes, like the .22-caliber pistol which is better for "clearing cottonmouths out of your duck blind." (We are assuming "cottonmouth" isn't some euphemism.) But it's still part of the Duck Commander line, each of which comes with a brand-new waterfowl camouflage pattern, the company logo engraved on the receiver, and an "American Flag bandana, like the one worn by Willie" Robertson on the TV show. Chik-fil-A is no doubt kicking itself at how much money it let slip through its fingers. The Chargrilled Chicken AR-15, emblazoned with "Chicken. Fries. A Coke." Could have been a big seller.