Among the news briefs filed by the Associated Press from Dallas about Friday's commemoration of the assassination of President Kennedy was a mention of a rally hosted by conspiracy theory innovator Alex Jones. We decided to tune in.

Jones, for those privileged enough not to know, runs the site Infowars.com, a hub for explorations of any conspiracy theory that either 1) suggests the government is evil and controlling you or 2) suggests that anything else is evil and controlling you. The Associated Press reported on Jones' arrival:

Alex Jones has led about 50 people through the crowd on Main Street in Dallas to the front of the barricade, where several officers stopped him.

The group was chanting "no more lies" about a block away, but went silent for now as they are part of the larger crowd watching the screen showing the event on Dealey Plaza.

They only went silent for a moment. When we tuned in, Jones was in the process of speaking his version of truth to some semblance of power, standing a few blocks from the official ceremony, bullhorn in hand. (That ceremony, he charged, was full of "lies" about the assassination.) "We're here as a real civil rights movement," Jones said later, "here to stand up for the right to free speech." Will he change your mind? Let's see.

It wasn't all yelling-until-you-cough, though. As he walked toward the police "minions" (that, he insisted, were all listening to him on the radio) and surrounded by people holding signs blaming the CIA and LBJ for the assassination, Jones explained the truth in more detail:

"Your children have no future. There are cancer viruses in their vaccines. You're being killed by eugenics. They write books about how they're doing it to you, and you're up there laughing. Well, that's why your kid can't talk. That's why so many of you that work for the system — your wife's dying young, you're going to die young, and you will go to your grave worshipping the government."

There you go. Cancer viruses is why Alex Jones is protesting in Dallas. Now you see the truth.

Update, 3:45 p.m.: Well, now Jones says that he and supporters with him were physically attacked by either federal agents or members of the Dallas Sheriff's Department. Video of the incident isn't yet online, but Jones described the scuffle on his radio show.

One of them punched me, from about six inches away, looking that there were no cameras — pow, hoping I'd do something. But it was into my rib, it wasn't that bad. … It did take me off guard and then [mimes being struck] "boom!" "boom!" "boom!" "boom!" and we're like, "Woah, let us go!"

He summarized: "They've hired an army of criminals. This is Nazi Germany. … We are in deep crap." His co-host later added: "A live demonstration of the spirit of the people that assassinated Kennedy."

A reporter from the Dallas Morning News was at the scene.