We get it, America. We get it. You're interested in 2016. Well, since that's the case, there is absolutely no reason to delay one minute further. Below, your real-time Republican primary footrace to 2016 victory.
Here's how this works. Whenever you come to this page, we grab the latest odds from Irish gambling site PaddyPower.com (Rodman-endorsed!). Then, we position each of the eight main candidates according to where they are in the race, listing the odds that each might win under their names. And then, we show you the racetrack. Depending on when you're visiting the page, the track will be as long as there are days until the first primary. As the first primary gets closer, the track left in front of our intrepid politicians will grow shorter.
Our advice, since you are so excited about 2016: just buy a new computer and keep this page open on it, reloading every five or 10 minutes. If you don't do that, it's almost like you don't care about the 2016 primaries, and are therefore a Bad American. Incidentally, we were going to make a Democratic one, but you can guess who would always be winning.
Included in the race (a list subject to change): Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida, Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas, Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey, Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky, former Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida, Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin, and Sen. Rob Portman of Ohio.