Three of the five stars of the Love Pentagon saga have hired high-powered fancy lawyers to help them emerge from the smoldering scandalous ruins. Neither David Petraeus, nor Paula Broadwell, nor Jill Kelley appear to be in any legal trouble right now—the FBI said it didn't expect criminal charges in its probe of Broadwell's "KelleyPatrol" emails—but they all have stories to sell. Let's look at what kind of lawyers will do the selling. Update: Another Love Pentagon character has famous-lawyered up: Natalie Khawam, identical twin sister of Kelley, is reportedly being represented by Gloria Allred.
Scandalous persona: Ex-CIA director David Petraeus
Lawyer: Robert Barnett of Williams & Connolly.
Lawyer resume: Barnett is a fancy Washington attorney who's negotiated book contracts for Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, and Barbara Streisand, and other fancy people.
Lawyerly duties for scandalous persona: Barnett will advice Petraeus "on post-governmental issues, and to assist him in planning his future," Politico's Mike Allen reports. We hope that translates into human language as "sexy four-star tell-all."
Scandalous persona: Petraeus biographer Paula Broadwell
Lawyer: Dee Dee Myers and Joel Johnson, managing directors of Glover Park Group.
Lawyer resume: Both Myers and Johnson worked in the Clinton administration, Myers as White House press secretary and Johnson as senior adviser for policy and communications. Myers consulted for The West Wing and sometimes serves as a Democratic pundit.
Lawyerly duties for scandalous persona: The pair has been hired "for communications counsel," AdAge's Alexandra Bruell reports. She points out that the tone of news reports about Broadwell "is already changing, with a number of news outlets of late reporting that she has expressed regret about the affair." Whether Broadwell's new fancy lawyers has anything to do with that isn't known, but "such coverage takes the spotlight off the investigation into the affair's potential impact on national security and refocuses it on an individual trying to fix a personal mistake."
Scandalous persona: Prolific four-star emailer Jill Kelley
Lawyer: Kelley has hired "Washington's crisis dream team," The Washingtonian says—scandal fixer Judy Smith and Washington lawyer Abbe Lowell.
Lawyer resume: This duo has been through some of D.C.'s greatest scandal hits. Smith represented Monica Lewinsky during the frenzy over her affair with Bill Clinton, Larry Craig when the Idaho senator was accused of soliciting sex in a public restroom, and admitted dog-hurter Michael Vick. Lowell represented John Edwards when he was accused of breaking campaign finance laws to hide his affair with Rielle Hunter, as well as former Nevada Sen. John Ensign when he was accused of giving a man money after being caught sleeping with the man's wife.
Lawyerly duties for scandalous persona: Unclear, since Kelley isn't accused of breaking any laws. But perhaps they're working to portray her more sympathetically, as people have come forward to vouch for her character.
Update: One more lawyer has joined the fun. Gloria Allred, the go-to feminist lawyer for women wronged by famous men, is now representing Natalie Khawam, Kelley's identical twin sister, ABC News' Katie Hinman reports. Allred recently told The Daily Caller she though Kelley and Khawam had been treated unfairly by the press. "I do believe there is a double standard in the media coverage and I hope that one day all of the women will be able to speak and give a fuller and more positive statement about who they really are and what their role was in this matter," Allred said. Now she can help make that happen.
So far, Shirtless FBI Agent Frederick Humphries and Kelley email recipient Gen. John Allen have not retained fancy lawyers or PR specialists.
(Photos via Reuters.)