The upshot of the Great Romney Cheat Sheet Conspiracy appears to be that Romney didn't beat Obama by cheating with a little sheet of paper he slipped onto the podium, but that Romney beat Obama despite being under the weather. Romney's campaign says the white thing he put on the podium was a "handkerchief," and we believe him, because he wiped his nose with a handkerchief so much his upper lip got a little red. For further evidence, we sifted through the archives and discovered that Romney has long depended on handkerchiefs. He's a bit of a sweater.

Here's Romney with the mysterious hankie during the debate.

What happens when Romney's without his handkerchief? Cruel wire photographers take extreme close-ups of him sweating. This photo is from an event at the Absolute Style furniture store in High Point, North Carolina on August 12.

(Photo via Associated Press.)

Saved by a hankie at a rally in Wayne, Pennsylvania, September 28:

(Photo via Associated Press.)

Again at a rally in Commerce, Michigan on August 24:

(Photo via Reuters.)

After giving a speech at LeClaire Manufacturing in Bettendorf, Iowa on August 22.

(Photo via Associated Press.)

Even when it's cold, Romney needs the hankie. Here he is the night of the Nevada caucuses in Las Vegas February 5:

(Photo via Reuters.)

The hankie dependency goes back years. Here's Romney after speaking in Naples, Florida on January 22, 2008.

(Photo via Associated Press.)