Today our world changed, as we found out that Vice President Joe Biden is a close-talker. The New York Times spent close to 1,000 words explaining this alarming revelation, and we've got the photographic evidence to prove it. "Mr. Biden is a touch person, draping arms around people’s shoulders to pose for a picture and then keeping them draped while continuing to chat," writes the Times' Trip Gabriel. And that close-talking and face touching seems to be part of Biden's power as one talkee talked to Gabriel:
“His body language — facing me with both hands on my shoulders, standing face to face only about an inch and a half away from mine and unrelenting eye contact — combined with the genuine sincerity of his words” were what “brought tears to my eyes,” Ms. Funk said in an e-mail message.
As disturbing as it is to know that the United States's second in command is a violator of American social etiquette (from the book of Seinfeld) and yes he is totally like that creepy guy who works in accounting at your office holiday parties, we can tell you that Gabriel isn't lying. Here's the photographic proof of the Vice President Biden's close-talking habits:
Here he is on the campaign trail on September 18. Getting nice and close to, as the AP reports, one Sally Steffen. That, folks, is fear in the eyes of someone being close-talked to and seeing no escape.
Age is no restriction for close-talking, either. As Biden close-talked a four-month-old on September 13:
And Biden is an equal-opportunity close talker too. Exhibit A, back-rubbing a biker woman on September 9:
And Biden getting nice and tight with a bald-headed fellow this past weekend:
If you see Biden on the campaign trail, there apparently is one solution to his close-talkingness (aside from, you know, not talking to him): be an animal.