Donald Trump will be awarded the title of "2012 Statesman of the Year" by the Sarasota Republican Party a single day before the Republican National Convention. It's the grandest imaginable title from the dinkiest possible entity. Are Republicans doing something nice for Trump so he won't make a mess of the convention in Tampa? 

Trump's sidekick Michael Cohen told Politico's Patrick Gavin that that's definitely totally not true. "It would seem obvious that Donald Trump will play a role in the Tampa convention, as his massive popularity, reflected in this recent award, shows what an asset he would be in making the convention into an even greater success," Cohen said. He's right. Sure, you might be thinking of Trump's most recent political issues -- birtherism -- but Trump has had many deep thoughts on public policy.

Why, Trump was hanging out in Tbilisi, Georgia, just last April! (He's pictured above with  Tbilisi mayor Gigi Ugulava.) And in the 1980s, he met Mikhail Gorbachev at a State Department ceremony, for a reason that has been lost to history.

(Photo via Associated Press.)

But more recently, Trump has been fixated on China (here's some video with NSFW audio of Trump's plans for China) and OPEC and their supposed fondness for "laughing at us." In May, we created a storyboard for a ad imagined by a Trump Super PAC  ad in descriptions are taken from his Newsmax interview.

(Images via Shutterstock by EastimagesDim Dimichvgstudio.)

Clearly, Trump will be the classiest, most gold-encrusted statesman in American history.