The Romney Olympics is not a joke, but in fact a for-real documented-by-witnesses official thing, and it will take place this week as the Romney family vacations at their New Hampshire home. Further, the incident in which Romney tripped his daughter-in-law so he'd beat her in the triathlon is not urban legend, but something multiple members of the Romney family have spoken publicly about. What is odd about Romney's cheating in a family sports tournament isn't that he cheats -- we all played kickball against that kid, right? -- but that his family thinks his cheating is a charming quirk. The triathlon is no longer a main event in the Romney Olympics, The Washington Post's Philip Rucker reports. After the tripping incident, Romney "expanded the games to give himself a better shot."
Rucker didn't have to dig too much to find out about the time Romney tripped the mother of his grandchild, because Craig Romney told the story in Iowa as if it would make people more likely to vote for his dad for president.
CRAIG ROMNEY: ...And it was down to my wife and my dad over here.
ROMNEY: I tripped her.
CRAIG ROMNEY: And it was kind of in the home stretch in the run there. And she had a slight lead on him. And he said that in that moment, he decided he was going to win that race or he was going to die trying. And you see this fight to the finish, and he went for this -- he gave it everything he had. He gave it a good kick and he beat her in the end. And he did almost die trying, by the way.
He passed out in a lawn chair and we didn't see him the rest of the day... But it's that type of hard work, it's that type of determination, I think, that we need in the White House.
Just like in the real Olympics, the number of events in the Romney Olympics has grown substantially. Rucker reports they include events such as "who can hang onto a pole the longest, who can throw a football the farthest and who can hammer the most nails into a board in two minutes." They also kayak and water ski, and Romney teaches the kids to ride his tractor. Jenga does not appear to be one of the competitions, which you could guess by the GIF at left. But many of the other sports were captured in a news story about the Romney's vacation activities:
But, honestly? All that tripping anecdote has us thinking about is a recent movie.