Unlike most of the Republican field, no one thought Rick Santorum was running to sell books or win a Fox News job. It's a good thing, too, because the most memorable moments of the Santorum campaign were accidents — most of them unhappy ones. After his decision to suspend his campaign on Tuesday, it is clear that Rick Santorum was not very good at running for president.

In his Gettysburg speech announcing the end of his candidacy, Santorum talked at length about his sweater vest. This was perhaps the greatest moment of his campaign, and it came from him getting made fun of on Twitter. One night, Santorum said Tuesday, "I was doing an event for Mike Huckabee in Des Moines. Everyone was wearing suits and ties and I showed up in a sweater vest. It turns out I gave a pretty good speech that night," Santorum said, and that's why his sweater vest caught on. But of course the truth is that the sweater vest caught on because it is funny, because it is old-fashioned, and because it is unflattering. "Fear the Vest" is funny because vests are not scary. But Santorum lingered on the vest's success, boasting that his campaign was the "best customer that Bemidji Woolen Mills has ever had in their entire history."

That was the bright spot. The rest of his campaign -- fueled as it was by conservative suspicion of Mitt Romney -- did not show much savvy in how to take advantage of the frontrunner's own weaknesses. Specifically, he was slow to react: the night he tied Mitt Romney in the Iowa caucuses, he didn't come out early, while people were still awake, and give a big speech claiming victory not matter how the vote turned out. Instead of everyone remembering him as the "Comeback Kid," like Clinton after his second-place finish in New Hampshire, Santorum woke up to headlines like this. (By the time Santorum was declared the marginal winner, no one cared.) That incident foreshadowed the rest of his campaign's phase in the top tier. He didn't have a pollster, an advance team -- meaning his events ended up being held in darkness or the rain, or a specialist in counting delegates until after Romney had tied up the race last month. He met with conservative leaders to work on a "midcourse correctionlast week. It was too late, obviously. If he's hoping to run for president again in 2016, as some have speculated, he's going to need all four years to practice. 

But the one thing he was quick to do was say things that people made fun of. Lots of candidates use colorful language -- Newt Gingrich is certainly known for his verbal tics, and so was Herman Cain -- but Santorum didn't sound folksy in his campaign bid as much as he sounded weird. Here are Santorum's most memorable moments.

Doing things in the sexual realm

October 19, 2011: Santorum says he will be the lone presidential candidate to talk about the pernicious effects of birth control. He told the Christian blog Caffeinated Thoughts, "One of the things that I will talk about that no president has talked about before is I think the dangers of contraception in this country, the sexual liberty idea and many in the Christian faith have said, you know contraception is OK. It's not OK because it's a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be."

Later, Santorum would argue that just because he's talking about birth control doesn't mean he wants to legislate it. But in this interview. Santorum said, "I'm not running for preacher, I'm not running for pastor, but these are important public policy issues."

Comparing gay people to inanimate objects

August 8, 2011: Santorum explains that gay marriage isn't real marriage just because it has the word "marriage" in it. Santorum told a crowd, "I can call this napkin a paper towel. But it is a napkin. And why? Because it is what it is. Right? You can call it whatever you want, but it doesn't change the character of what it is. So when people come out and say that marriage is something else — marriage is the marriage of five people, five, 10, 20. Marriage can be between fathers and daughters. Marriage can be between any two people, any four people, any 10 people, it can be any kind of relationship and we can call it marriage. But it doesn't make it marriage." But that wasn't the only thing gay relationships are like. They are also like trees, basketballs, and beer.

Making blaargh people's lives better

January 4, 2012: "I don't care about making blaargh people's lives better by giving them someone’s money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.” Santorum says he merely stumbled; many others heard him say "black people."

Gaffes not limited to social issues

Perhaps you could attribute the above gaffes to Santorum's wholesome anti-Hollywood liberal worldview. But that doesn't explain why he said things like that he doesn't care about unemployment ("I don't care what the unemployment rate's gonna be. It doesn't matter to me," March 19) or that it might be better to vote for President Obama over Mitt Romney ("You win by giving people the opportunity to see a different vision for our country, not someone who’s just going to be a little different than the person in there. If you’re going to be a little different, we might as well stay with what we have instead of taking a risk with what may be the Etch-A-Sketch candidate of the future," March 22). This is not the typical position of a Republican presidential candidate.