Maybe sexual harassment charges and settlements don't really count as skeletons? The Daily Caller skimmed through its digital archives to produce this interview with a skeleton-free Cain back in March (audio below). "I can assure you, I have an original copy of my birth certificate. I don't have any illegitimate babies. I don't have any mistresses. Ya know, you tick 'em off and I can tell you," Cain told Tucker Carlson's conservative news site. "So, no, I don't have any of those kind of skeletons in my closet and what I have told people, if they come up with something to try and damage my reputation, they will have made it up." It's hard to tell whether Cain's response is a bundle of lies or a cluster of technicalities (sexual harassment charges aren't technically mistresses?), but unfortunately for Cain, we did not make this skeleton up.