LENGTH: 262 words, block quotes excepted
THESIS: Jonah Goldberg is an idiot
RHETORICAL STEPS TO GET TO SAID THESIS: 4
STEP 1: "I hope I have never given the impression that I am a nice person. "
STEP 2: "I am in fact as it emerges and happens a shadowy figure with a tantalizingly enigmatic past about whom hangs an aura of tantalizingly enigmatic mystery--and Danger! Yummy Danger!"
STEP 3: "What I mean is, chicks dig me."
STEP 3, CLARIFIED: "With spades."
STEP 4: "Or, to be more precise, Jonah Goldberg is a tool--the Ace of Shits."
TRIGGER FOR SAID OBSERVATION: Goldberg's ill-advised decision to disparage John Kerry's presidential bid
GOOD QUESTION: "What on earth makes Jonah Goldberg confident that he is more likable, more clever, and less grating than, say, John Kerry? Or a razor blade strapped under an eyelid?"
BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND: "Anyhow, Goldberg is a fucking idiot."
FURTHER EVIDENCE AND PARTING SHOT:
here is Goldberg:
Better to be a called a crackpot than be one, I say.
In other words, when you have a Republican president encouraging a pointlessly violent and fiscally mysterious war, cool!