The only people celebrating this rogue, previously unknown holiday are FBI agents, but, with three raids on allegedly corrupt politicians across the country on Wednesday, it is possibly the hottest new holiday since Arbor Day.
Let's start with New York because New York is the most important place on earth, the center of the universe and the only place anything interesting happens. For instance, today FBI agents raided the Albany offices of Queens Democratic Assemblyman Bill Scarborough as part of an "ongoing investigation" into his activities. What indiscretions interest the FBI remain unclear, exactly, but the New York Daily News reports it possibly involves Scarborough's travel expenses.
Now let's jump all the way across the country. Political corruption is not just for those stuffy East Coast Elites. In San Francisco, FBI agents arrested Democratic State Senator Leland Yee and raided his offices on bribery and corruption charges. Lee, previously famous for ignorant crusades against violent video games, stands accused of corruption and bribery charges. Raymond Chow, the head of a gang in San Francisco's Chinatown, was also arrested as part of a city-wide sting on Wednesday. The video game crowd are celebrating right now.
What about the heartland, you ask? FBI agents did not leave it out of the fun! After a four-year investigation, the FBI arrested Charlotte Mayor Patrick Cannon on Wednesday for taking bribes from undercover officers. "Cannon... solicited and accepted cash bribes and other items of value from undercover FBI agents, who were posing as commercial real estate developers and investors who wanted to do business in Charlotte," according to the Charlotte Observer. He's also something of a local hero, despite only getting elected five months ago. Cannon was the city's longest serving politician. Now, it sounds like he was American Hustle'd.
Of course, these raids also come on the heels of Friday's FBI raid on the offices of Rhode Island House Speaker Gordon Fox, a Democrat. The FBI sure has been busy lately, so the question now becomes: who is next?