In the annals of bizarre crime stories, even Cormac McCarthy couldn't come up with one this bizarre. Some sort of sexy version (?) of "guess where I put my gun, honey" turned ugly when 48-year-old Jennifer McCarthy of New Mexico (no, not that Jenny McCarthy) pulled a firearm out of her vagina (where else?) and pointed it at her boyfriend's head after a dispute over aliens (what else?) got a little too heated.

According to the Albuquerque Journal, McCarthy, reportedly stormed out during a fight over extraterrestrial life with her unnamed boyfriend and then returned with a plan for vengeance. The police report describes how she went to her bedroom, dressed up in lingerie, put the gun in a place no guns should go, then somehow performed an unspecified sex act with the gun insider her. Naturally, that was just a prelude to pulling the gun out, pointing it at her boyfriend, and asking the presumably rhetorical question "Who is crazy, you or me?" 

Anonymous boyfriend took the gun away and dropped it in the toilet. McCarthy then took it back, so he just threw it in the trash. Does any of this still make sense to you.

If all of that wasn't enough to get this story off the police blotter (and The Smoking Gun) and into the inboxes of office workers everywhere, there's one more little trivia tidbit to add. McCarthy is the most recent ex-wife of celebrated author Cormac McCarthy, who has presumably never written a book where a character uses a vagina for a "holster."

McCarthy was charged with aggravated assault on a household member, and was released on Sunday on a $5,000 bail. 

So remember kids, stay safe. If you and a romantic partner are discussing whether or not you've ever met an alien, and you say you have, and he says it's impossible, and you say an alien taught me how to do things with a gun you wouldn't believe, and he says you're crazy, and you say YOU'RE crazy, and then you plot a sweet revenge plot wherein you dress in your sexiest garb and do some sort of seductive vagina-gun dance before delivering the perfect line in a measured, throaty voice: "Who is Crazy, You or Me?" make sure there are no bullets in that gun.