Lawmakers in Florida, the state which actually eats its residents via sinkholes, have decided that it wants to ban the sale of bongs. Two bills currently sit in the state's House of Representatives and Senate, both ready to enact harsh penalties on whomever might want to help you get high or sell you that purple alien-headed glass pipe you never knew you needed. Really, Florida? Have you not seen Springbreakers? What about the good people of Tallahassee, which, according to The Daily Beast, is the pot-smoking capital of America? Have you no idea of your constituency?

As the letter of the law currently stands, actually, Florida legislators do sound like they get the popularity of pot in the Sunshine State: "State law now allows only certain retailers to sell the pipes if at least 75 percent of their sales comes from tobacco products or they have no more than 25 percent of 'certain drug paraphernalia' sales" reports the AP's James Rosica. But House Bill 49 seeks to change that, and enact a first degree misdemeanor upon people selling bong-like pipe devices — no matter what other people use them for: 

Senate Bill 1140 is less strict, allowing pot enablers to sell wooden pipes without penalty. First degree misdemeanors in Florida carry a maximum sentence of one year, though both laws say that subsequent offenses could be hit with a third-degree felony, which carries a max of five years in prison. Clearly, spring break is not forever, y'all.