The Carnival Triumph pulled into the Port of Mobile at about half past nine, local time, bringing an end to the days-long, feces-filled journey. Sort of. Despite being adrift for almost a week with no running water, passengers were told that they would still have to wait on board for hours before they could set foot on dry land.

And even then, it was either a two-hour bus trip to New Orleans or a seven-hour trip to Galveston or Houston. An earlier plan had called for the ship to be towed to Mexico, but Carnival decided heading to Alabama would make travel home easier for the passengers. Easy does not equal comfortable.

And then who knows how long it'll be until Carnival coughs up the we're-sorry dollars. The company said that it will give $500 to every passenger in addition to a full refund of the price of the cruise and discounts on future cruises which is probably the worst consolation prize these folks could imagine.

"And then," The New York Times explains, "there is the matter of potential litigation by passengers, although the ability of passengers to sue cruise ship operators is sharply limited, lawyers said." Said one passenger of the $500, "We think it's hush money."