Abandon hope, all ye who enter this post and suffer from odontophobia. Two women were arrested for giving illegal root canals and running an after hours dental office in Philadelphia. 

This is the stuff nightmares are made of. The Philadelphia Daily News's Dana DiFilippo reports two women were running illegal dentist services for people without insurance out of the office where they worked during the day. See, before night fell one of them worked at Smilz 4 Life, the legitimate office they used to front their illegal operation, as a dental assistant. The other woman was a receptionist, so she was normally not allowed to do, or touch, anything important. At night, they were pulling teeth, attaching braces, and even performing root canals together. They now face a slew of charges that includes "unauthorized practice of dentistry," which is either the funniest or scariest crime in the book.

Your hyperventilation is concerning. Take a breather. Good now? Let's continue. We're almost through.

How many patients the two performed "dentistry" for... well, that remains unclear. The police only know of three poor mouths, but it could be way more, and they want you to get in touch with them if you did get some shady work done at Smilz 4 Life.