You know how you and your best friend took a vow that you'd move to Canada if the presidential candidate you couldn't stand actually won? (Except, of course, you really wouldn't do that?) Now states are getting in on this game ... except states can't move to Canada. So instead, they want to become their own Canadas, sort of. The "secession movement," as posted by petitions on The White House's We the People site, now involves 21 U.S. states— many of them using the same "peacefully grant ... to withdraw" language below.
WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:
Peacefully grant the State of ______ to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government.
As the founding fathers of the United States of America made clear in the Declaration of Independence in 1776:
"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."
"...Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and institute new Government..."
Despite an apparent eagerness to conform to one another in terms of the language used in their individual petitions to secede, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Florida, Louisiana, Texas (whose language is different), Kentucky, North Carolina, North Dakota, Indiana, New York, New Jersey, Colorado, Montana, and Missouri are among those apparently fired up enough to start petitions claiming they want to go it alone.
So, which state wants it the most? We looked at numbers of signatures on a state-by-state level to create the following chart ranking states on a desire-to-secede level. Note: There are two different Georgia and Missouri petitions. In those cases, we've taken the petition with the highest number of signatures.
Note that these were the numbers at the time we checked prior to the posting of this piece, at approximately 6:15 p.m. EST, November 12. The petitions are adding signatures as we speak. Oh, and I don't care whether you're a Democrat or a Republican, threatening to secede only serves to make you seem like a sore loser who never learned to share in kindergarten. Then again, wouldn't it be hilarious if we all seceded? Until we actually all seceded.