Because it's August and because the New York Post loves a double entendre, we get a special gift today: The cover of today's issue, "Buzz Kill" refers to a troubling situation in New York City lifestyle politics. The people demand vibrators! Perhaps you haven't been following: Trojan was set to give out a bunch of free vibrators "from hot-dog-style pushcarts" on city streets yesterday, which they did ... for a while. Until, Amber Sutherland, Jennifer Bain, and Todd Venezia write, things got out of hand—the crowds were too large, apparently, and the promotion was shut down before its 4 p.m. Flatiron giveaway could ensue. 

Because it's about vibrators and because it's August, this news makes the cover of the Post, with the inevitable punny headline. But there's more. People are very, very upset that something they were going to stand in line for and get for free is not going to be given to them after all, which leads to wonderful quotes such as, "I'm 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!" And the New York Post's editors finally have a legitimate reason to make each and every sex reference they've ever thought of. For instance, emphasis ours: "instead of climaxing in a successful giveaway, the promotion was prematurely interrupted by City Hall, which sent a dark-suited representative to put the squeeze on Trojan’s 'Pleasure Carts.'

Who to blame for VibratorGate? Bloomberg, of course. First soda, now this? It's a travesty of justice. Via the Post,

“I’m 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!” declared Linda Postell, who was among hundreds of women (and men!) waiting in the heat on Pearl Street only to be left unsatisfied. “I have a problem with the smoking ban, and the soda ban — and now this!”

Buzz kill! However, Bloomberg is not actually anti-vibrator, his office explains. He's just pro-permit: "The Mayor’s Office insisted the vibrator switch-off was a permit issue, and not due to any prudishness." Thank goodness for that.