Jon Stewart went on "Gaywatch: Holdouts Editions" Monday night on The Daily Show, taking down two institutions that have recently reaffirmed discrimination against gay people: The Boy Scouts and Chick-Fil-A.
Boy Scouts of America spent two years doing a secret "internal review" and decided to uphold a ban on gays. "The army may now be hospitable to gay people, but the fake army for children isn't giving in," Stewart joked. But Stewart thinks the ban is silly because the Boy Scouts are already kind of gay. He cites the neckerchiefs, "basket weaving patch," and a Boys' Life magazine with shirtless young boys with six-packs on the cover. "I don't want to minimize the concerns of the Boy Scouts, but you're already the gayest organization in America," Stewart said.
As for Chick-fil-A, whose president came out (haha) with an official anti-gay stance, Stewart read straight from the source of Chick-fil-A's reasoning: The Bible. Brother-in-laws having sex with widows, raping a virgin entitles her father to silver—the Bible, Stewart insinuates, clearly isn't the most reliable source. Stewart's not the only one to denigrate Chick-fil-A. The Jim Henson Company broke a partnership with the fast food chain over the anti-gay stance, killing a plan to provide Muppet toys in kid's meals. Just a quick reminder to Stewart, though, who makes a joke about eating Big Bird: Big Bird definitely isn't a Muppet. He's on Sesame Street.