How could we possibly be expected to handle work on a day like this? If The Atlantic Wire had its way, we wouldn't, for we've long advocated June 5 become officially designated Ferris Bueller's Day Off. That's because Baseball Prospectus's Larry Granillo determined that the Chicago Cubs game Matthew Broderick's character attended in the iconic John Hughes film took place on June 5, 1985. As you may have noticed, we haven't managed to convince either the government or our bosses that our plan has much wisdom, but hey, Ferris Bueller wasn't one for doing what he was told. So in the interest of furthering our little holiday, we've assembled a quick celebration guide. You might not be able to play hooky from school or work, but you can sneak in some homages to Ferris nonetheless:
Carols: Prepare to have a great day, aurally speaking, because the film had a great soundtrack. Key songs to include on your playlist are "Danke Schoen" for all your shower-singing needs, "Twist and Shout" for any parade-crashing (see below), and "Oh Yeah" by Yello, because what says Ferris Bueller Day better than weird synth bass and a dude saying "Oh yeahh" over and over?
Meals: You might still have work, but you can take lunch! You're likely not as smooth or brash as Ferris,
and your lunch break isn't long enough to account for failure, so maybe you should make a reservation. But when you do, make it under an absurdly unbelievable pseudonym. Abe Froman, sausage king of Chicago is too obvious. Be sure to pick one specific to your locale. We're in D.C. so The Capital Grille better ready a table for "Janet Reno" and quick.
Afternoon office break: Ok, so there aren't a lot of parades happening around the U.S. on this fine Tuesday. However, since Ferris Bueller took the Chicago streets by storm, flash mobs have become quite the rage. Your troupe of groovy stair-dancers will look far less out of place than they did in 1985. (Note: they will still look very out of place.) Cue up that "Twist and Shout" and incite a flash mob. We dare you. Hm? Your boss won't let out of the office for flash mobs? Uh, maybe just watch the scene on YouTube. It's still good.
After work: We're not advocating trespassing... but if you know a co-worker with a roof pool, invite yourself over. Ohh, Aaalllex...
If you don't have a co-worker with a pool: Ferris may have disliked the classroom, but he wasn't uncultured. He, Cameron, and Sloane visited art museums, and plenty of those stay open after work hours. It's baseball season, so you could grab a last-minute ticket to an evening game on Craigslist. These are perfect ways to celebrate the day while remaining somewhat publicly respectable. (No stair dancing for you.)
There are probably any other number of small ways to mark the day off without actually taking the day off. (Make out with Charlie Sheen, for instance.) So we intend this only to be a starter kit. They key here, is that after singing in the shower, dining out for lunch, and hitting up a Nats game, we hope you'll be more convinced to join is in our public advocacy for this important addition to the federal holiday schedule.