The story about an escaped monkey wreaking havoc on a plane at JFK provides an object lesson in why SEO is ruining news.

The New York Post, which we count on for headlines like the classic "Headless Body in Topless Bar" or more recently, "This is Your Captain Freaking" went so boringly straight with its online hed, "Escaped monkey holds up flight at JFK for hours," that we're wondering if we haven't entered Bizarro World, where the liveliest tabloid in the land plays it straight and boring.

This is The New York Freaking Post! Writing about a monkey that escaped from a shipment bound for China for research and terrorized a 747 for hours? This is, like, what the paper was made for. (That and predicting vice presidential nominees.) And the best they could do for a pun was this lede: "Monkey business held up a Beijing-bound flight at Kennedy Airport nearly four hours yesterday." 

What a letdown, Post: There's only one reason we read you, and that's for the funny headlines and pun-filled stories, and "monkey business" was the best you could do? This is such rich territory! How about "Monkey Goes Bananas at JFK" or "Barrel Full of Monkeys Actually No Fun" or "Monkeys on a Plane" or "Primate Makes Gate Late." Are these perfect? No, but at least we're making an effort. Up your game, Post.