The New York Post has wasted no time producing a cover featuring their dear old frenemy Alec Baldwin. Say what you will of Baldwin; he makes great tabloid fodder, whether he's yelling at Daily News reporters who busted into his yoga class for a story about his engagement; yelling at Starbucks baristas on the Upper West Side; or yelling at flight attendants who ask him to put away his phone for take-off. He's the New York City bully you love to hate! And so, the Post slaps him on their cover with the headline "Dirty Rock"—even though the story within is more about his alleged stalker than about Baldwin, himself. And even though "Dirty Rock" is, well, what does that even mean

But on to things we can actually answer: What do we know about this alleged stalker? Her name is Genevieve Sabourin, and she's 40 years old. She's French-Canadian. The Post dubs her a "hottie" and a "shapely blonde." She's a struggling actress whom Baldwin was allegedly helping professionally (by taking her to dinner twice in 2011). Oh, and, according to the reports: She claims she and Baldwin had sex and that she wanted to have his baby. According to her lawyer, they had a two-year relationship "with texts, e-mails going in both directions." According to her mother, she is "a respectable woman" who "appreciates [Baldwin]." And according to her brother, "She’s not a freak.”

Also what we know: Sabourin was busted outside Baldwin's apartment building on Sunday night and arrested. Prior to that, she did not handle the news of Baldwin's engagement to 28-year-old yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas very well, apparently. Via The Post:

The French-speaking suspect bombarded Baldwin with English-language e-mails, including one April 4 in which she wrote, “I need to start my new life, with my new name . . . in my new country help me my newly [sic] husband, you!”

That same day, she added in another e-mail, “Please Alec come and pick me up now. I am less than 10 min away from you tonight. Say I do to me.’’

And in yet another missive sent the same day to Baldwin, Sabourin indicated that she thought they had a serious future together, one in which they would be married, “creating Genevieve Baldwin.’’

She called him so much, according to a Post source, "professing her love and repeatedly saying she wanted to have his baby — and also asking for cash," that he had to change his phone number. Nearly as disturbing as the alleged stalking (which seems, at least, free from any violence and, if true, just a bit sad—refrain from asking your obsessive love interest for money, gals!) is the fact that the two met on the set of the terrible 2002 Eddie Murphy movie, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, which was clearly good for just about no one.

Now Sabourin is out on bail, and a temporary order of protection has been issued for Baldwin. Baldwin, for his part, has denied an affair and says the relationship was strictly professional. Except that it involved him taking her to dinner. Well, a man has to eat. Professionally, of course.