Do you live in Brooklyn? Do you drink coffee? Do you have a baby, and does it want its own coffee, too? If so, babyccinos, not to be confused with baby chinos, are for you. The latest twee Brooklyn "trend" has a name, and it is horrible. Former Atlantic Wire intern Eli Rosenberg of the Brooklyn Paper, hot on the trail of this supposed trend (which he traces to trend-producing nabes such as Park Slope, Fort Greene, and Prospect Heights) writes that "Brooklyn’s obsessive coffee culture is rubbing off on the borough’s youngest cafe-goers, with tots ditching their bottles and juice boxes in favor of 'babyccinos' — mini decaf cappuccinos or frothy cups of steamed milk and foam."
Oh no. Somehow, we feel certain that such prodigal tots are not ditching anything, but instead are being given their wee hot drinks by their proud parents. And the worst of it, as Joe Coscarelli writes in New York magazine's Daily Intel, may be the comments from the parents, who say the darndest things:
“Our children love babyccinos!” said Eric Worcester, who ordered the milk-only variety for his kids, Evelyn, 5, and Shirley, 2, at Sit and Wonder on Washington Avenue on Saturday (He and his wife had more traditional beverages).
“My child has been going to cafes since he was a newborn,” said Katherine Haver, a freelancer who works out of coffee shops, sometimes with her nearly two-year-old son. “ ‘Coffee shop’ was one of his first words.”
Most horribly, the local coffeeshop of this very blogger claims to serve "between five and 10" babyccinos daily. (Average cost: $2.)
But isn't a babyccino just steamed milk, or a small cup of decaf, things adults might drink when they wanted to fall asleep? And aren't babies falling asleep not only good for babies and parents, but also for childless people in coffeeshops hoping to work or just get their java fix in relative peace? Maybe it's really the cutesy-as-hell name that bothers us so much. At least one barista agrees:
“I have one customer who says that and it annoys the hell out of me,” said Sean Chin of Gorilla Coffee in Park Slope.
On the plus side of this alleged trend, whether or not a decaf cappuccino or steaming cup of milk is something a baby should be drinking in the first place will at least generate some new fodder for the parenting blogs. Thank goodness -- all the gender-normative angst about that poor kid's lost hat back in 2006 was getting old.