Pepper spray, punches and a gunshot (apparently accidental) have been deployed in a mad Christmas-season shopping rush to purchase the new Nike Air Jordans, a throwback model that has also seemed to revive the heights of avarice that the original sneakers once triggered in consumers.

In Jersey City, a brawl broke out among people lined up for hours awaiting a chance to buy the shoes on Friday. One man was stabbed. In a separate shoppers' brawl in suburban Seattle, police were forced to pepper-spray about 20 people fighting in a mall. One of them punched a police officer, the Associated Press reported, giving rise to the early leader for Top Quote of Christmas, Police Spokesman edition:

"He did not get his shoes," Tukwila Officer Mike Murphy reported. "He went to jail." 

The gunshot, as reported by The Los Angeles Times, was an accidental discharge, though it did have the effect of clearing other shoppers out of the way. (Deviously effective plot, if you think about it.)

Here, via ABC News, is what it looks like when grown humans trample one another to buy $180 sneakers:

Get a grip, people. Mars Blackmon expects better from you.