On the heels of all those quickly faded resolutions comes something easier to embrace: mocking others. Jeff Wysaski's done all the legwork, but for those looking for a snapshot, we've picked out some highlights. Hard on the heels of a list of what states do best, here's a list of what states do worst--or rather, the negative things that states do best:

  • Best Place to Score Coke  If a hit is hard to come by, blame Colorado, which has the highest rate of cocaine use in the US.  For overall shortages, blame Rhode Island, which tops the list of overall illegal drug  use.
  • Best State to Feel Attractive  North Dakota, according to the Daily Beast, which ranks it the ugliest of the 50 states
  • Best State for Bribes  Tennessee, which is on the Daily Beast's hit list for most corrupt state
  • Best State to Feel Youthful  Iowa, which has the highest percentage of people 85 and older
  • Best State to Complain About Taxes  New Jersey, which is tops at 11.8 percent (Take that, Illinois!)
  • Best State to Quote Hegel  Ohio, the nerdiest state, based on per-capita library visits
  • Best State for Porn Support Groups  Utah, which ranks highest in online porn subscriptions