South-central Alaska's golden couple is once again kaput. Tuesday afternoon, Bristol Palin confirmed to People Magazine that she and on-again/off-again squeeze Levi Johnston were off again, this time for good (probably). The news comes just two weeks after Palin and Johnston graced the magazine's cover and discussed the details of their upcoming wedding. With Bristol and baby Tripp moving back in with the Palins, voices from around the Internet weighed in on the demise of Bristol-Levi 2.0.

  • Winners & Losers Salon's Christine Mathias says the split is a "tick in the 'win' column for Sarah Palin." The same cannot be said for Kathy Griffin, who Mathias predicts will soon be on the receiving end of a "drunken late-night call from Levi asking to sleep on her couch."

  • It Could Have Been Camelot Politics Daily columnist Donna Trussell is no Sarah Palin fan, but admits she feels a twinge of sadness at the news. "In a strange way, I consider the Palins my people," she writes. "I'm a fifth-generation Texan, and Texas is almost the same as Alaska -- big, brash, trigger-happy and ready for secession at the mere whisper of insult to our manhood (or womanhood)." Hopefully, Trussell writes, the couple will patch things up. "I want to see what ends up on the wedding table."

  • The Lesson "I got played" was what Bristol told People regarding the reason for the break-up, a statement New York Magazine's Chris Rovzar believes adequately sums up the lessons of the Bristol/Levi epoch. Therein lies the final lesson, would-be teen moms everywhere wondering whether you should accede to your boyfriend's demands for unprotected sex," writes Rovzar. "He is going to play you. In every way that a person can be played."

  • Don't Bet Against the Backslide The Washington Post's Alexandra Petri, for one, doesn't think America's heard the last of the Bristol-Levi coupling. The etiquette of modern celebrity culture compels them to give it another shot.

Our religion of celebrity-worship falls right into the pattern. Larger-than-life figures supply us with the same comfortable narratives, over and over again. Rumors that Brad and Jen are back together? Must be April. Brad and Angie stronger than before? Yup, it's November. Bristol and Levi have figured out their place in the cycle. Next summer -- mark my words -- they'll be back together.