The news of Joran van der Sloot's wedding, which took place in a Peruvian jail, has elicited shock and outrage. And something else.
The man, who was convicted of killing a Peruvian woman and is considered by many people to also be responsible for the death of 18-year-old Natalee Holloway back in 2005, got hitched yesterday. From CNN:
The nuptials took place at the Lima, Peru, prison where the 26-year-old van der Sloot is being held, according to the lawyer, Maximo Altez. John Barrera, Mayor of Ancón District, presided over the ceremony.
He met and subsequently impregnated his wife, Leidy Figueroa, during her visits to the prison, where one of her relatives is also serving a sentence. Prison life in Peru allows for visits within the confines of a jail cell, a fact that is enraging plenty of people across the internet.
Beyond the expected outrage, there has been a fair share of tongue-in-cheek and even sincere-seeming reactions venturing into emo territory. A cursory survey of social media reveals a trend:
What every single woman is thinking: How come Joran van der Sloot can get married and I CAN'T???http://t.co/OB8B1W13V6— LeeR9 (@LeezaR9) July 5, 2014
Joran Van der Sloot has killed two women yet still managed to find a wife... meanwhile I'm 100% murder free and can't get a date. #whatgives— Christine Rousselle (@crousselle) July 5, 2014
Joran van der Sloot is getting married from prison and I'm laying in bed eating prunes and watching episodes of The Office I've already seen— Gabby Kaufman (@GabbyKaufman) July 4, 2014
Joran Van der Sloot is getting married. Meanwhile, I'm in my own emotional prison, and I don't get conjugal visits. http://t.co/oIAdmfY12j— Tyler Coates (@tylercoates) July 3, 2014
Convicted killer Joran van der Sloot married his girlfriend in prison today. Still single, ladies.— The Guy (@theguydf) July 5, 2014
I guess if Joran van der Sloot can marry his girlfriend in prison while serving a 28 year sentence, then there's hope for me yet— eNr ⛵ (@emilynelsonnn22) July 5, 2014
So, what to make of all this indulgence? For further reading, check out Stephen Marche's 2012 Atlantic cover story about loneliness and social media.
Or, if you're lonesome, drop one of the fine single folks a line and make some summer magic happen.