Britain's National Archives released the last batch of documents from the Ministry of Defence's shuttered UFO division on Friday, and they include revelations of alleged alien abductions, encounters, and roommates, providing plenty of actual evidence why shutting down this operation was one of the lamest moves in recent government history.

To be clear, the MoD shuttered its extraterrestrial branch in 2009 because it served "no defence purpose" and wanted to move staff to "more valuable defence-related activities," Sky News reported. While the department, referred to by England's papers as a real life X-Files, may not have served an actual, you know, purpose, it did give (crazy) people who swear they had encounters with otherworldly beings a place to air their concerns. The new trove of information has a total of 643 accounts of contact with aliens and, uh, sometimes, living with one. To wit: "A report received via the UFO hotline by someone who had been 'living with an alien' in Carlisle for some time," the National Archives reports. Which, you know, is stupid. But we went through a few of the documents (there are 4,400 pages in all) and tried to give you an idea of what actual Brits say they saw in the sky — and of what a fun job it was to deal with these people.

1. The Politest Repeat Offender

Whoever this person is, you have to admire that she keeps emailing the Ministry of Defense the way your mom's friends leave voicemails. 

2. The Adorable Child Who Drew This Alien Encounter

3. The Person Who Waited 30 Years to Report His Alien Encounter

4. The Man Who Shot the Alien Down and Got Buckingham Palace to Troll the MoD

This letter was sent to the Queen of England: 

And that person got this response back from Buckingham Palace:

That's pretty awesome for someone who can shoot down UFOs with "electrodisruption" but not find the time to print out a crisp copy to send the Queen. But the really fun part is that the people in Buckingham Palace actually forwarded the letter on to the Ministry of Defence. And the UFO sharpshooter then sent this letter back from the Ministry of Defence:

5. The Sassy MoD Agent Who Crushes Dreams

6. The Gifted Photographer Who Sent in This Evidence of UFOs

7. The Mysterious Black Blob