After mastering the art of drones (by way of Photoshop) and the science of sending a monkey (that was not real) into space, the latest technological breakthrough out of Iran has arrived: Ali Razeghi, a 27-year-old "scientist" in Tehran, claims to have invented a "time machine"—and now the only thing stopping him is the fear that China will make crappy versions of it. "The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight," Razeghi is quoted as saying in The Telegraph, which picked up the story from Iran's state-run Fars News Agency.
Now, this "time machine" is actually more of a crystal ball that Razeghi says he has been working on for ten years (which means he would have started at 17). The Telegraph reports that the device works off of a set of complex algorithims to "predict five to eight years of the future life of any individual, with 98 percent accuracy." And the "serial inventor" himself adds:
My invention easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users. It will not take you into the future, it will bring the future to you.
We looked at Fars's English website and its science section, where we couldn't find any evidence of Razeghi or his registration of the "Aryayek Time Traveling Machine" with Iran's "Centre for Strategic Inventions." We did find news reports about Iran's desire to send animals into space, either, and some implying that Americans are fat and lazy—but that's not really here nor there.
The Telegraph goes on to report that Razeghi has been facing criticism—not because the "time machine" is probably a sham like Iran's fake space monkey or its fake drones or its fake stealth fighter—but because his PC crystal ball that "can predict the future in a print out after taking readings from the touch of a user" works too well. "Razeghi said his latest project has been criticised by friends and relatives for 'trying to play God' with ordinary lives and history," The Telegraph writes. Okay Iran, we give up.