Does the David Petraeus scandal involve a possibly homicidal anti-virus software magnate pretending to be a Guatemalan street hawker with a limp? Nope? Didn't think so. Over the past few days we've watched this John McAfee murder scandal grow into full-fledged absurdity that should be paid attention for its utter defiance of reality. We first heard of the anti-virus pioneer's dark turn on November 13, when he refused to turn himself in for questioning about the murder of his neighbor Gregory Faull, and, as our Rebecca Greenfield reported, this happened: "as he saw the police approaching he hid by burying himself in the sand with a cardboard box over his head ... And, he says he will not turn himself in while he hides 'somewhere' in Belize." It only gets weirder from there, as we found out he was blogging about his life on the run some four days later. Which brings us to today, and these latest reasons to follow said blog and McAfee's life: 

He Is Shoving a "Shaved Tampon" into His Face as a Disguise: "I stuffed a shaved down tampon deep into my right nostril and died the tip dark brown – giving my nose an awkward, lopsided, disgusting appearance," reads McAfee's entry from November 19.

There Is Enough Content to Run the Blog for A YEAR: And someone named Chad will get the publishing power if McAfee is captured: 

If I am captured, this blog will continue. I have pre-written enough material to keep this blog alive for at least a year. In addition, the administrator, Chad, will continue to monitor comments. He will administer the reward and post any information received. In truth my continued involvement from this point is irrelevant.

He Duped the AP into Thinking He Was a Limping Guatemalan Who Sold Dolphin Carvings: Okay, this one needs a little bit of build up. We love the AP; it's fast and breaking and makes our jobs easier. But sometimes they set themselves up for silliness, like crowd-sourcing interviews with dog ownersThat all said, we'll let McAfee take this away:

I donned an old Guatemalan style sarape and toted a bag containing a variety of Guatemalan woven goods. I adjusted my posture so that I appeared a good six inches shorter than my actual height and slowly walked up and down the beach with a pronounced limp, pushing an old single speed bicycle and peddling my wares to tourists and reporters using a broken English with a heavy Spanish accent. On my second day, while peddling small wooden carvings, I nearly sold a dolphin carving to an Associated Press reporter standing at the edge of my dock.

Nate Silver Says This Story is Statistically More Interesting Than the Petraeus Scandal: 

And, of course, we are only on day three of this man's new blog.