In today's tour of state-sponsored propaganda: North Koreans dance for their Supreme Commander, the war on women comes to Zimbabwe and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad issues his vaguest threat yet. We begin in Pyongyang.

Shake Your Money Maker 

When Kim Jong-un says dance, everybody listens, including members of the straight-laced military. On Thursday, to celebrate the new promotion Kim gave himself, North Korea's military broke out in jubilant dancing in the streets of Pyongyang. The country's propaganda mill, the Korean Central News Agency, was working overtime to capture the speeches and choreography paying homage to the young leader. As The Wall Street Journal's Evan Ramstad notes, the implied message was clear: "The military is happy with Kim." Prior to the dancing, the official news agency documented legions of officers applauding for Kim after speeches by the military's top brass. But the real moment of zen shines through in this video captured by the Associated Press, which really documents what we're getting at: The most awkward dancing since the dry heave:

The War on Women Comes to Zimbabwe

In the U.S., the "war on women" meme has started to fade after being heavily-exploited by both parties. But in Zimbabwe, it's alive and well. Today, President Robert Mugabe, with the help of the state-run Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation, is taking up the "war on women" banner to refute the heavy sanctions on his country. "Mugabe says illegal sanctions imposed on the country by the West have inhibited the growth of the economy, adding that women are the hardest hit as they try to enter the mainstream economy," reports ZBC. "Mugabe said if it was not for the sanctions, things could have been different economically in the country." While the wisdom of Western sanctions against Zimbabwe are certainly debatable, he neglected to mention the cause of them: He's an abominable leader

Ahmadinejad Issues Vaguest Threat Yet

Today, a terribly-confusing article appears in Iran's state-run Press TV website, consisting of the vaguest threat we've seen a propaganda outlet issue. In this 243-word story, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad emphasizes that Iran's enemies will suffer a "heavy blow" from Iran. Who those enemies are, we have no idea:

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says the Iranian government will not retreat from the principles and values of the nation, stressing that the enemy will receive a heavy blow from the Iranian nation.

“I assure the Iranian people that the government will not retreat even one iota from their rights, principles and values against the declining materialistic powers, even if they (the enemies) mobilize their past and future [capabilities] and get accompanied by certain parties inside the country,” said President Ahmadinejad on Thursday. 

He added that the main enemies of the Iranian nation and the Islamic Revolution have waged a major battle and mobilized their utmost power and capability but the Iranian government strongly resists against them.

“The enemy deals a blow to the Iranian nations step by step; but, in return, it receives a stronger, heavier blow,” President Ahmadinejad said.

Ahmadinejad emphasized that the Iranian nation’s path cannot be stopped. 

He noted that the hegemonic system opposes the Iranian nation only because of the high speed of its progress in various sectors such as industries, science and technology.

 Who's the enemy, Mahmoud? Who is it?!?!