Dominique Strauss-Kahn, former head of the IMF, alleged "aggravated pimp," is also handy with text messages, if not so good with names. According to Newscore write-up in The New York Post, DSK referred to young ladies as "luggage" and "gifts" when he texted his pals while planning his alleged sex parties. However, this is not because DSK is a terrible sexist jerk, oh, no. While he has admitted his words were "inappropriate" according to a leaked transcript of the police questioning reported by French daily Le Monde, he had a good reason for using them! They were more efficient.

Per the Post, "The 62-year-old admitted his use of object-based words such as 'luggage' and 'gifts' was 'not very sophisticated' but said it was quicker than listing out all the names, the report said." After all, names are hard to spell, and the word "women," well, don't even get him started. Plus, isn't "luggage" or "gift" a compliment? What woman wouldn't want to be compared to a lovely suitcase, or a delightful blue box from you-know-where? 

Less obviously flatteringly, Strauss-Kahn may also have called women "equipment" (or perhaps he meant actual equipment?), according to this sample text:

"Do you want to (can you?) come to a great sexy nightclub in Madrid with me (and some equipment) on July 4?" Strauss-Kahn wrote in a text message to a businessman friend who also was charged.

 

These new revelations of DSK's texts, however, are not all that new, actually. In November of last year, a French paper reported that DSK had called a prostitute a "bit of stuff" in his texts about sex parties. Always good with a turn of phrase, this one. 

DSK's lawyers have said they'll file a legal complaint over what Le Monde chose to quote "selectively" as they put it (hard to imagine the context that would make this better), from the document. As for those allegations of aggravated pimping, Strauss-Kahn claims he did go to sex parties, but that he was "naive" and didn't know women were paid to attend.

Naive -- now, that is a word that takes a long time to spell.