AUTHOR: Conrad Black, resident bombasticator and jailed pundit at National Review

HEADLINE: "Human Rights Watch and the Nazis: Israel Has the Strangest Enemies"

LENGTH
: 1194 words

SUBJECT: The anti-Israel, anti-West, and pro-radical Islam stance of of Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch

BLACK'S STARTING POINT: Leftist environmentalists are awful

MORE SPECIFICALLY:
The Green movement, which had been an informal bucolic confederation of Sierra lovers of the wilderness, Greenpeace opponents of nuclear testing, and amiable eccentrics in hiking boots and pith helmets, brandishing butterfly nets and festooned with binoculars, became a rampart of the Left. Like the rural Communist guerrillas of the Colombian FARC, overwhelmed by the influx of massively armed and armored drug lords, the old agitators for cleaner air and water and pretty lepidoptera were inundated by the advocates of deindustrialization, abandonment of the automobile, and Churchillian resolution in the face of untrammeled cow flatulence. The genuine environmentalists were a perfect front for the beaten army of malcontents, radicals, and dull foot-soldiers who crowded like the grim wreckage of Napoleon's Grande Armée at Smolensk in 1812 into this incongruous political ecosystem.
WHAT BLACK THINKS OF "AL GORE'S INFAMOUS 'SETTLED SCIENCE'": "pungent intellectual ordure"

TECHNIQUE OF THE "SOCIAL-MARKET LEFT": the "art of the chameleon"

SAMPLE DECLARATION OF THE ART OF THE CHAMELEON: "the victory in an unnecessary Cold War was hollow, Pyrrhic, illusory, whatever"

EXTENDED CRUSADE ANALOGY: "Academe welcomed and sheltered its defeated and bedraggled warriors and stirring requiems were thundered out in the usual vaulted cathedrals of the liberal media. But perhaps the most stentorian Te Deum has come from the human-rights organizations."

EXPLANATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH: "As the leftist infantry was put to flight, HRW became a clinic for the shell-shocked, who, assisted by the balm of the inevitable George Soros funding, have transformed it into yet another Israel-bashing operation."

THE COMPETITION BETWEEN HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH AND AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL: "hell-for-leather combat in gymnastic hypocrisy"

AMONG THE LEGITIMATE POINTS BLACK BURIED IN THIS LINGUISTIC QUAGMIRE: The Human Rights Watch's military expert has a worrying fondness for Nazi memorabilia

METHOD OF ANNOUNCING SAID POINT: "HRW's military expert blew up like an exploding Christmas tree"

THE LAST WORD:
In this incomprehensible free-for-all, it would make more sense for the human-rights-industry leaders, given their irrational animus against Israel, to become the target for the Nazi-hunting organizations, who are now down to the grotesque pursuit of the likes of John Demjanjuk, who has been prosecuted relentlessly for 30 years, unsuccessfully by Israel (to that country’s great credit) as a Treblinka death-camp guard, and now by Germany, at age 90 and confined to a stretcher (but not a leather jacket), as an alleged Sobibor death-camp guard. In Elie Wiesel and his colleagues, HRW and Amnesty would meet a very formidable adversary.