Today in celebrity gossip: Justin Bieber created a scene at Dave & Buster's and later compared himself to Princess Diana, plus Miley Cyrus' homeless VMA date is in trouble with the law, and Kim Kardashian no longer wants to be friends with Beyoncé.

When life gets hard, who among us hasn't just wanted to drive over to our local chain of permanent carnivals, Dave & Buster's, for a nice night of skee-ball, hot wings, and shouting at sports games displayed on one thousand flatscreens? That's what Justin Bieber tried to do a few nights ago, but as with his previous attempt at unwinding at a family fun center, the American public simply would NOT allow him to have a good time. It probably didn't help that he'd brought on-again girlfriend Selena Gomez as his date (to, again, it's important to point out, Dave & Buster's) where he'd clearly been hoping to enjoy a night of low-key, chillaxed anonymity (at Dave & Buster's). See, just as soon as he'd plunked a token into a funtime machine "a fan spotted them and began taking pictures and video of the pair." Enraged by this final-straw attempt by the general public to intrude upon his privacy at a Dave & Buster's, Bieber then "lunged at the fan in an effort to grab his phone and possibly erase any evidence of their presence." Alas, "He was unsuccessful." But just because Bieber and Gomez then fled Dave & Buster's doesn't mean the ordeal was over, at least not legally. That's because the "fan" is now attempting to team up with the Corrupt American Judicial System to charge Bieber with "attempted robbery" and possibly "attempted battery." Your tax dollars at work, America. [Page Six]

Murphy's Law states that if something can go wrong for Justin Bieber, it will go wrong for Justin Bieber. Right around the time of his Dave & Buster's melee he experienced a fender bender! According to TMZ's piece (cheekily titled "Justin Bieber Rear-Ended in West Hollywood" because gay stuff):

Bieber was driving his red Ferrari in West Hollywood early Tuesday afternoon when he noticed a photog following him in a Prius. . . an annoyed Bieber slammed on his brakes and the photog crashed into him.

Typical fender-bender. And if you were thinking of perhaps finding Bieber at fault for this situation, please keep in mind one simple thing:

Well said indeed. In fact I can only think of one artist who better summed up  this terrible, sad situation.

[TMZ]

Some fairy tales don't last forever, and so it goes with Miley Cyrus' handsome, homeless MTV Video Music Awards date. When Cyrus won the Song of the Year award (there were awards?) she famously sent up a long-haired runaway to accept the award on her behalf, and he proceeded to read a multi-page plea for awareness about the plight of teen runaways. Depending on your pre-existing opinions of Miley Cyrus' media savvy, you either admired her audacity to stand up for such an important cause or you frowned at her obvious grab for publicity. Either way it was one of the night's most memorable moments and that certainly can't hurt the charities she's presumably flooded with donations. But now! Page Six reports that Jesse Helt, the handsome runaway in question, "has a warrant out for his arrest in Oregon after he violated his probation." Apparently back in 2010 the then-18-year-old was "charged with criminal trespassing and mischief" after "attempting to break into an apartment in Salem, Oregon." It appears he's in an extra heap of trouble too, as "in the years since, Helt has allegedly violated his probation repeatedly." Uh oh. Maybe go get that stuff straightened out before appearing on national television, Jesse Helt? J/k you're famous now, that's all that matters bae. EVERYONE should run away! [Page Six]

Beyoncé might be having a banner year—secret album, unanimous acclaim, tour de force concerts, utter ubiquity—but that doesn't mean she isn't also experiencing devastating loss. For example: Kim Kardashian no longer wants to become friends with Beyoncé! As Radar "reports," Kardashian has been trying to befriend the singer for years, and came ever so close when she went so far as to MARRY Kanye West, known bestie of Beyoncé's husband, Jay Z. But no more. "After practically launching an all-out campaign to become BFFs with Beyonce, Kim Kardashian has thrown in the designer towel." And the reason? "Kim blames Beyonce for Jay Z skipping their wedding," their "insider" reports. But it's not just that slight that has dashed Kim Kardashian's hopes for an invite into the House of Dereon, there's apparently a fundamental incompatibility in their personalities!

Kardashian "thinks that that Beyonce has always been very arrogant and aloof around her. Kim . . . was always left with a very cold feeling. Beyonce made Kim feel very insecure and that isn’t something that she is used to."

What on earth could be going on here? How could a unanimously praised, dynamic, talented, elegant, brilliant superstar with a flawless reputation pass up the friendship of Kim Kardashian? We may never know the answer to this question. It's just another Hollywood mystery, I'm afraid. [Radar]

Quick question: Are Fred Armisen and Natasha Lyonne dating? That's what Page Six's headline wants to know. Except, why are they even asking if they've already found sources willing to answer that question definitively? "Fred and Natasha were together all night at Lorne’s party. People were surprised, but they appear to be a couple." Page Six, read your own coverage, jeez! It's right there in the third paragraph. Your source says they appear to be a couple! Take a chance and go with it, why don't you? I realize that Page Six has very high and exacting journalistic standards, but loosen up! Anyway, Portlandia is great, and Orange Is the New Black is great, and Fred Armisen is great, and Natasha Lyonne is great. If there is ever good news to be gleaned from celebrity gossip, this would be it. Yes! [Page Six]

Miley Cyrus can't stop hanging out with homeless runaways! Just kidding, here she is with Kathy Griffin, who is probably not homeless.

Oh, Beyoncé's just organizing her trophy collection, what of it?

51-year-old John Stamos decided to snap this selfie and also post it to social media. U mad?

Somebody allowed Lindsay Lohan to stumble around in the streets and alleyways. Get home, girl!

Here's exclusive video footage of Katy Perry on a recent vision quest:

Steven R. McQueen is too beefy to be sitting on his girlfriend's sink!

Finally, here's Kellan Lutz and a dog. Which one would YOU rather cuddle with?