Today in celebrity gossip: Embattled pop star Justin Bieber recovered from his Orlando Bloom incident with the help of a Kardashian, plus Selena Gomez was in a fender bender, and Drake implied that Rihanna is the devil.
Have you ever had a bad week? You probably haven't, you are living the dream, stop bragging by the way. But let's just say that some people have bad weeks sometimes. And some of those people are very famous and successful and wealthy! For example, Justin Bieber has had a bad week. Among presumably countless tiny annoyances (isn't that always the way?), he was mainly just punched in the face by Orlando Bloom and humiliated by Leonardo DiCaprio and generally ridiculed on the internet. It happens to the best of us, but it mostly happened to Justin Bieber. But life is nothing if not a twisty river and sometimes a simple fling is all we need to keep us afloat. Enter Kendall Jenner, Justin Bieber's on-again-off-again love interest. If you recall, this is the same Kendall Jenner who was banned from Selena Gomez's friendship circle after she spent too much time with Bieber. Well, Page Six reports the two rekindled their whatever-it-is at a birthday party this past weekend for Givenchy's lead designer. Not only that, but Bieber used his entourage to forcefully bar Orlando Bloom from entering. So it was a pretty great night for Justin Bieber overall! After flexing the muscle of his musclemen, Bieber and Kendall flirted all night and then "left together." So his week is probably going okay now. Not great, but better. Life! [Page Six]
But please don't tell Selena Gomez about Justin Bieber's upswing as she is probably in a bad mood from a fender bender she got herself into over the weekend. Apparently the Wizards of Waverly Place star (and forever the Wizards of Waverly Place star) backed into someone in a 711 parking lot. But you'll have to decipher her tweet to understand the particulars:
Only I'd get into an accident because of men with cameras who have great careers and offer the couple a package at Burke Williams. Oh LA.— Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) August 3, 2014
Something about paparazzi with good careers and also giving someone a massage package? I honestly do not know. But Gomez looks cute in the paparazzi photos that accompany the story? So she's probably doing fine too. [Page Six]
Another couple of famous exes may not be having quite the rosy separation we assumed. Drake and Rihanna never actually acknowledged being together, but they're definitely no longer a thing, and now he's even including what appear to be subliminal messages about her in his live act. TMZ has video of some video interstitials that play during his live show in which an image of Rihanna is flashed onscreen interspersed with flaming sixes. Is Drake calling Rihanna a demon? Satan herself? Or is he simply keeping it all celebratory, much like how Beyonce and Jay Z did when they splayed Justin Bieber's mugshot onscreen during their concerts. Only Drake and Rihanna know for sure. [TMZ]
You may have seen this video by now, so watch it again. Or if not, feel free to live: Taylor Swift visited a children's hospital and serenaded Jordan Nickerson, a 6-year-old cancer patient. She offered to play any song he wanted and he responded that he wanted her to sing her favorite song. Which was, of course "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together." There is video:
Probably the coolest thing a celebrity can do is compare a verbal slight to rape, and right now nobody is cooler than Kirstie Alley. Remember, we talked about the time her former Dancing With the Stars bestie Maksim Chmerkovskiy called her out for dropping him as a friend after he began dating J.Lo (and he also threw a bit of shade on Kirstie Alley's very baffling religion). Well, the former Madhouse star has responded via Twitter:
Dear Sir..after you have ass raped me there is really no reason to include "I wish you the best".. It's rhetorical— Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) August 1, 2014
I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of agree with Kirstie Alley though. "I wish you the best" IS one of the meaner ways to conclude an insult. Still though, maybe Kirstie Alley shouldn't pick fights in general. Is there a glassier house to live in than the Celebrity Centre? I truly doubt it. [Page Six]
Headline presented without comment: "DANITY KANE—COPS INVESTIGATING VIOLENT STUDIO CATFIGHT" [TMZ]
Here is Ian Somerhalder's horse. If you thought this picture was somehow going to be spun into a joke about his girlfriend Nikki Reed then you are extremely mean and have been disinvited from my pizza party.
Aw, Kanye West brought his daughter North to work.
Here's Justin Bieber doing whatever.
Here's Beyoncé chillin' by a plane.
Oh, Alex Pettyfer.
Was this Instagram video posted by Taylor Swift some kind of clue about her next album? Everybody seems to think so!
And finally, here's Kellan Lutz befriending squirrels, why do you ask?