Today in celebrity gossip: A former drug dealer just released an old video of Angelina Jolie, Project Runway's Christian Siriano called Melissa McCarthy "difficult," and Pamela Anderson is back on the market of people who are single.
Despite being almost completely terrible, Maleficent made tons of money this past spring on the strength of Angelina Jolie's participation. But upon exiting the theater we were all left with the nagging sense that not even Angelina Jolie was very good in it. Like, why was the character so restrained and taciturn and chill when we were all primed for a scenery-chewing, cinematic RuPaul's Drag Race type experience? Theory: The Angelina Jolie that we expected to show up in Maleficent just straight up does not exist anymore and hasn't for a long time. No, some time ago the wild, unpredictable, fearless starlet we fell in love with in the late '90s morphed into a more mature, austere, motherly, and United Nations-y role model and this version is very boring. But it speaks to how powerful our nostalgia is for Jolie's former personality that we believed she'd exhume it for a very dumb blockbuster. So if we were disappointed by Maleficent, it was our own fault!
But Original Recipe Angelina Jolie nostalgists unite! Here is a video (embedded below) that you may really enjoy: It's a National Enquirer "exclusive" entitled "Angelina Exposed! Jolie Caught On Tape In Sleazy Drug Den" and it's 17 minutes of Angelina Jolie pacing the room, talking to somebody on the phone (possibly her father Jon Voight) about basically everything on her mind at the time. The thing was allegedly filmed by her then-drug dealer Franklin Meyer during one of Jolie's visits.
Couple things of note! First, just going by Jolie's blonde hair this video seems to date back to 1998 or 1999, around the time she filmed her Oscar-winning performance in Girl, Interrupted and her be-dreadlocked performance in Gone in 60 Seconds. Two, could the "Gillian" she repeatedly refers to be Gillian Anderson, her co-star from Playing By Heart? By that same token, is "Jenny" the Jenny Shimizu who was Jolie's on-again-off-again lover at the time? Meanwhile both National Enquirer and Radar suggest that Jolie is high on drugs in the video, but in her defense she doesn't seem high, just merely stressed. And despite being a "dirty drug den" that room doesn't look very dirty? Also, I didn't see drugs anywhere. Just some fun artifacts of the late '90s, like a Funsaver disposable camera and, of course, the cordless phone, which is already starting to look like an alien device in 2014. But yeah, the only real reason this is an incriminating video in any way is that the guy who sold it to the National Enquirer claimed Jolie was high and that he'd been her dealer. But what kind of disreputable creep openly films someone else talking on the phone and then ends the video by telling her "See, you just have to trust me"? Call me an Angelina Jolie apologist (well, an apologist for her old school antics at least), but she just seems like a typical stressed-out actress navigating a sudden career ascent. In that context, it's a fascinating glimpse into her pre-Brad Pitt life, you know? Ugh, I miss this Angelina Jolie so much. [Radar]
Project Runway's all-time best winner Christian Siriano just slapped some hot sizzling beef on the table and it's got Melissa McCarthy's name on it! Backstory: In the July issue of Redbook, McCarthy claimed that no designers would design a dress for her 2012 Oscar appearance:
Two Oscars ago, I couldn't find anybody to do a dress for me. I asked five or six designers—very high-level ones who make lots of dresses for people—and they all said no.
But in a recent piece about plus-sized fashion in New York Daily News, Siriano rebutted McCarthy's claim:
She and her stylist chose the fabric and the beading. Quite frankly she was quite difficult to work with. She wanted some specific things that I thought would not look good on her body. And she was not comfortable with them in the end.
Ever since Melissa McCarthy began her (well-deserved) ascent to the A-list, rumors that she's, uh, not easy to work with have started to become more commonplace, particularly in L.A. comedy circles. But are these rumors the usual misogyny-laced garbage that similarly ambitious male actors would never be labeled with, or is McCarthy's increasingly bad reputation actually deserved? This is just a question for you to discuss with your family around the dinner table tonight or perhaps to talk about with your pastor in private. [Us Weekly]
Comedian Katt Williams is a very talented, but eccentric Hollywood Crazyperson® who seems to attract trouble wherever he goes, and his newest brush with the law is especially weird. According to TMZ, Williams was pulled over on the Pacific Coast Highway after his security guard — riding with Williams' assistant in a separate car behind Williams' Spyder — got out of his car to taze a self-proclaimed lifeguard who'd kicked the assistant's car for driving too closely and then allegedly hurled the "n-word" at them. Also, TMZ states that Williams' assistant looks like Rihanna, so there's that. At this time nobody has been arrested, but maybe everybody should be arrested? Well, maybe not the Rihanna doppelganger; she seems okay. [TMZ]
When people describe someone as being "back on the market" does it imply that single people can be bought and sold in a town square? That seems vaguely creepy, but then again, so are most aspects of dating, so nevermind. Anyway, Pamela Anderson is "back on the market" after filing for divorce from her third husband, Rick Salomon, for the second time. (They'd been married once before). As you may recall, Pamela Anderson had previously been married to Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, while Rick Salomon had been previously married to Shannen Doherty and E.G. Daily from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (!) and he also co-starred in the seminal classic One Night in Paris alongside Paris Hilton. Just a lot of great names with a lot of great credits. Anyway, be careful in that marketplace, Pamela Anderson! [Page Six]
Cole Sprouse, former Disney Channel star and twin brother of famed nude-selfie taker Dylan Sprouse, tweeted this admittedly hilarious photo of former co-star Ashley Tisdale, but weirdly enough she has not yet responded.
Here's particularly youthful Poltergeist II villain Justin Bieber hanging out with One Tree Hill's Sophie Bush:
Katy Perry's in Manhattan posing near the famed posterior of famous street vagrant The Naked Cowboy:
Finally, Kellan Lutz is still on vacation. Here he is playing some kind of drinking game and very aggressively indeed!