Today in celebrity gossip: Lindsay Lohan is suing the makers of Grand Theft Auto for parodying her, Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling allegedly feuded on the set of The Notebook, and Jewel is getting divorced.

How did you celebrate your 28th birthday? Did you go on a pub crawl? Did you invite all your friends to a waterslide park? Did you run through a crowded public square kicking pigeons? Did you get your will notarized? Do you even remember turning 28? There's a good chance Lindsay Lohan remembered turning 28 but only because it happened yesterday. While it's reasonable to assume she celebrated by going to tons of restaurants bars and night clubs and simply not drinking a drop of alcohol ever, the most important thing she did for her 28th birthday was file a damn lawsuit. Take-Two, the makers of the Grand Theft Auto series, included tons of L.A. parody in their newest installment of the best-selling franchise and apparently Lindsay Lohan found the character of "Lacy Jonas" to be a little too similar to herself. According to her lawsuit filed in Manhattan, Lohan objected to how much Jonas physically resembles her and how the character lives at the Chateau Marmont (as Lohan often has), and how these comparisons were made even more egregious by the fact that Take-Two outright played up the fact that one of their missions would involve a Lohan-esque character in their publicity. So yeah: SUED. Anyway, Page Six notes that Lohan is currently "cash strapped" and could be seeking to keep her lights on a little bit longer by seeking a cash settlement with Take-Two, which is a conclusion made even more reasonable by the fact that Lohan had previously sued E-Trade bank for its commercial that featured a "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay and won an undisclosed amount of money. Meanwhile, to commemorate Lohan's 28th' birthday, Page Six put together a very special photo gallery entitled "Happy birthday, Lindsay Lohan! 28 times she's looked older than 28." Enjoy! [Page Six, Page Six]

Here's a cute and romantic story for all you lonely hearts out there: Apparently while filming The Notebook, co-stars Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams pretty much hated each other? Recently director Nick Cassavetes gave an interview to commemorate the romantic weepie's 10th anniversary and admitted that the two actors battled on-set:

Maybe I’m not supposed to tell this story, but they were really not getting along one day on set. Really not. And Ryan came to me. . . and he says, 'Would you take her out of here and bring in another actress to read off camera with me? . . I can’t. I can’t do it with her. I’m just not getting anything from this.'

So yeah. They sounded very fun back then! But of course, as legend has it, after filming The Notebook, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams dated for a while. So their IRL drama sounds like fodder for a particularly contrived romance all on its own. Opposites attract, especially when those opposites are impossibly gorgeous actors who star in a hit romantic film together. Oh, Cupid, you rascal. [Page Six]

Jewel is getting divorced, but who cares, that is boring. The main thing to know about Jewel's divorce from rodeo personality Ty Murray is that in announcing it, she defied all expectations by figuring out how to describe it in terms that are somehow even grosser than Gwyneth Paltrow's infamous "consciously uncoupling" euphemism? From now on, please refer to Jewel's divorce as a "thoughtful and tender undoing of ourselves" and please know that she and her husband are disentangling their marriage "stich by stich [sic], and releasing each other with love." Oh, boy. But credit where credit's due, TMZ managed to close out its item about Jewel's split with a line that made me laugh so much: "It's unclear if Jewel's actually filed divorce papers yet." Don't change, TMZ. (Well, change most things, just not this particular thing.) Anyway, good luck, Jewel. If I could tell you just one thing, it would be that we're all okay. [TMZ]

Just because you are Prince doesn't mean some jerk with a badge won't make you wait outside a party for 30 minutes, and guess who just learned this the hard way? Prince. According to Page Six, immediately following Sunday night's BET Awards, Prince arrived at an after-party "with an entourage of 20 in four cars" and would you believe it? The police wouldn't let them enter the party. "There was a point person coordinating with the police to get him in for 30 minutes," claims somebody who was there, but because too many celebrities were trying to elbow past, "Prince was very polite but left." Take THAT, bozos. You could have had Prince at your party, but Prince don't wait for NOBODY. But guess who did make it in? Usher and Nelly. In other words this party was an unmitigated disaster. [Page Six]

Taryn Manning, currently known for her role as Pennsatucky on Orange Is the New Black but forever immortalized for her role in Crossroads as the Britney Spears friend who doesn't fall down the stairs, has found herself embroiled in a particularly uncomfortable situation with an ex-friend. Apparently a lady named Jeanine Heller found herself excised from Manning's circle of friends and reacted like a crazy person, sending "hundreds of online messages" to Manning and earning herself an arrest for misdemeanor harassment as well as a restraining order. Curiously, the restraining order forbids Heller from coming into contact with "Manning, Manning’s mother Sharon — or the Manning family’s dog, 'Penguin.'" OMG Jeanine Heller, you better stay the f*ck away from Penguin. Like, stalking is bad in general, but the second pets are involved then you're in horror movie territory. Leave Penguin the f*ck alone. [Page Six]

Normally I really hate TMZ's cutesy and condescending 'MEMBA THEM? recurring feature but for the first time in history I love it: Female Cenobite in "Hellbound: Hellraiser II" 'MEMBA HER?! [TMZ]

America's favorite dance troupe consisting of Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez have struck again! This time they dance to Lil Jon's "Turn Down For What" and wear t-shirts suggesting that perhaps this ragtag group of people aren't on vacation at all and are actually just making a movie together, who knows:

Please let it be Step Up 6. Please let it be Step Up 6.

Here's micro-dreamboat Colton Haynes and some visual punnery involving beets and/or headphones by Dr. Dre:

Taylor Swift said "good morning" to her kitten and you won't believe what happened next:

What are you doing on that beach, Scott Eastwood? Just kidding, it doesn't matter.

Finally, here is Austin Mahone eating spaghetti:

His caption asks "what's your favorite food?" but it's like, maybe MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?

Just kidding, have a great holiday weekend everybody. Please remember the Founding Fathers.