Today in celebrity gossip: An altercation in Ibiza pitted Justin Bieber against Orlando Bloom, Michelle Rodriguez has been hanging around Bieber also, plus a family tragedy for Drew Barrymore.
Remember when Justin Bieber was merely a floppy-haired moppet with a keen sense of harmony and a set of stage parents savvy enough to upload his videos to YouTube? Those were the days. Lately he's been less about music and more about testing the limits of what his fans are willing to defend. Lambo races, eggings, sizzurp, noise complaints, arrests, depositions, Chris Brown friendships, the world's worst tattoos. It might be harsh to call Justin Bieber a garbage boy but that is your call to make, not mine. Anyway, while longtime Beliebers remain loyal to their prince, most of the world's population has grown somewhat tired of Bieber's antics and that population now includes Orlando Bloom. Because Orlando Bloom has HAD IT with Justin Bieber. According to Page Six the Hobbit actor (an actor who is in The Hobbit, not an actor who is a hobbit) straight-up tried to PUNCH Justin Bieber at a nightclub in Ibiza! According to their sources, "Bloom took a swing at Bieber after the singer, 20, made a rude comment about Bloom’s ex, Miranda Kerr." Bieber doesn't deny that he said something rude about Miranda Kerr, but claims he only said it AFTER Bloom tried to punch him. Perfect defense! But there's some salacious backstory here: Apparently in 2012 Bieber was seen flirting with Kerr backstage at one of her Victoria's Secret runway shows while she was still married to Orlando Bloom. Then, of course, in April, Orlando Bloom was photographed hanging out with Justin Bieber's ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez. So, you know, these guys were not fans of each other. Which brings us to Ibiza:
"Justin was at one table, and Orlando was at another," a source told us. "But when Bieber and his party were later walking past Bloom’s table, Orlando refused to shake Bieber’s hand." Then "Bieber said something rude to Orlando, like, 'She was good.'"
The two heated gentlemen were apparently separated by their entourages, but then Bloom turned back and tried to punch Bieber—which made the crowd CHEER. But there's now some disagreement about whether Bloom's fist of fury connected or not. One source says it did: "The punch definitely connected. . . People saw it. That’s why everyone cheered." (TMZ has a shaky video, of course.) Thus concludes the first time in a while Orlando Bloom has lived up to his potential as a Hollywood leading man.
Finally, please enjoy this (since-deleted) image that Justin Bieber very maturely Instagrammed without caption:
Oh, but it turns out we're NOT finished discussing Justin Bieber? Because really, we are never actually finished discussing Justin Bieber ever and that's very possibly all part of his dastardly design. Anyway, for this one you can you can thank Michelle Rodriguez, who has just finished up her baffling Zac Efron public romance by hanging out with Justin Bieber! Yep, TMZ has photos of the pair hanging out on the same yacht in Ibiza (don't worry, neither Efron nor Bloom were there). So uh, what exactly is going on with Michelle Rodriguez lately? I guess if we accept at face value that she is indeed bisexual and that bisexuals do indeed date both genders, then it stands to reason that she'd have a fling with Zac Efron. Who wouldn't? There are straight men who would date Zac Efron. But to be seen publicly with Justin Bieber is just dark. Why so dark, Michelle Rodriguez? You okay? Anyway, yeah. Somebody please check in with Michelle Rodriguez. [TMZ]
In much sadder news, Page Six reports that Drew Barrymore's older half-sister Jessica Barrymore was discovered dead in her car in a Southern California desert Tuesday morning. From the spilled bottle of prescription pills authorities have ruled it a possible suicide. Because the Barrymore family tree is twisty and enormous, it might be worth noting that the two share a father in late actor John Drew Barrymore, but Jessica Barrymore's mother was his third wife Nina Wayne, while Drew Barrymore's mother was with Jaid Barrymore, from whom Drew Barrymore is currently estranged. Drew Barrymore has not yet made any public comment about this very awful situation. [Page Six]
Gwyneth Paltrow is an American actress who once dated Brad Pitt but then turned her anguish over that breakup into an Oscar-winning role in Shakespeare in Love and also Shallow Hal. Chris Martin is a British singer who once sang songs about primary colors and who now duets with Rihanna and sometimes under blacklights. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were married once. I think they still are, technically, but they've consciously uncoupled. Friends, it's my pleasure to report that they are still hanging out. Does this mean they've recoupled? Probably not. But according to Us Weekly they were recently spotted hanging out together with their children (whom they share, and who both share genetic material with Paltrow and Martin) in the Hamptons like any normal family. But then later the parents hung out without their children at a restaurant and then at a cocktail party. You can draw your own conclusions, but keep in mind that it's at your own peril!! (Just had to spice this item up with a dash of danger, did it work?) [Us Weekly]
Here's how Beyoncé silences the haters talking mad trash about her marriage to Jay Z. With an Instagram pic!
Oh, Justin Bieber again. Here he is boarding a private plane while his clothes fall off:
Miley Cyrus cuddled with a dog:
The Rock cuddled with a fan:
Finally, a half-dome visited Half Dome!
Haha, sorry, Kellan Lutz has a full dome, I was just going for the easy joke, sorry again, Kellan Lutz ILY.