Today in celebrity gossip: A Johnny Rockets waiter out-diva'd Aretha Franklin, Keith Urban's fans nearly drank themselves to death at his concert, and Comic-Con yielded so many celebrity group-selfies.

There are a few basic forms of diva behavior we're all familiar with: Showing up late; refusing to set foot inside a white limousine; pairing full-length fur coats with a 0.2 blood alcohol level; slapping concierges across the face with a rolled-up Playbill; sending Celine Dion to voicemail. But now we have a new contender for classic diva behavior: Kicking Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin out of a Johnny Rockets! No less than a waiter in Lewiston, NY, recently unlocked that achievement by reportedly "screaming" at the singer and being "very rude, unprofessional and nasty" toward her. Franklin's crime? Ordering a hamburger to go and then deciding to eat it in the restaurant. ("Restaurant.") Now, obviously, there is a lot about this story that is extremely hilarious. One, Aretha Franklin went by herself to Johnny Rockets following a sold-out concert for the sole purpose of getting a hamburger. Two, she couldn't resist eating the hamburger right then and there. But the most hilarious is that the Johnny Rockets waiter didn't recognize Aretha Franklin and tried to kick her out for sitting down at a booth without asking and in the process hurt Aretha Franklin's feelings. According to Page Six, "A Johnny Rockets spokeswoman says the franchise owner is sorry for the actions of 'a new and very young employee'" and the employee has had a talking to. Not fired. No, why would someone ever be fired for berating a living legend? That employee was merely talked to because he is clearly the new queen diva and we should all be afraid of the untold depths of his 'tude. It was not made clear at press time whether Aretha Franklin nonetheless enjoyed her hamburger or not. Let's go with 'yes'. [Page Six]

Keith Urban is perhaps best known for being married to Nicole Kidman and being the gentlest, prettiest, most flat-ironed judge in American Idol history. But now we can liken him to a sort of accidental Jim Jones as TMZ reports that at a recent concert "46 people were treated and 22 taken to local hospitals" from drinking poison at one of his concerts. Of course by 'poison' I mean alcohol, which is poison, and the mass poisoning didn't end there. According to police, a total of "50 people were taken into protective custody for their own good" after becoming intoxicated and unruly. Now, this was South Boston, so a mass alcohol poisoning shouldn't be entirely shocking, but here's the thing: This was at a Keith Urban concert. What exactly about Keith Urban's music would cause an entire crowd to need to dull their senses to that extreme? Don't answer that, unless you want Nicole Kidman's team of elite hackers to track your IP and make your life miserable. But yeah. Dozens of concertgoers, when faced with the prospect of an evening of Keith Urban performance, turned to the bottle. One day at a time, everyone. One day at a time. [TMZ]

A piece of human garbage with internet access has been terrorizing a young castmember from TNT's Major Crimes. According to TMZ, 22-year-old actor Graham Patrick Martin is being terrorized by a cyber stalker" who has been impersonating him on Twitter and openly wishing that the actor would experience "violent death aboard one of the doomed Malaysian jets." The internet villain has also been tweeting hundreds of times a day, frequently @-tagging Martin's real life girlfriend with vicious insults. This is obviously all very unchill behavior and Martin is understandably unhappy about it and has even turned to the LAPD for help. "LAPD just executed a search warrant on Twitter to get info allowing them to track the guy down and arrest him." See guys, hear me now and believe it later: Being famous is VERY annoying sometimes. Avoid it at all costs. [TMZ]

Last week we talked about this currently terrific season of Big Brother when castmember Frankie Grande's grandfather passed away while he's still sequestered in the house, spurring a conversation about whether Grande's sister Ariana Grande would inform her brother or not of the sad news. He was informed eventually and it made for emotional moment on the show as seemingly every castmember worked through his or her own feelings toward their families and many tears were shed. But now another grandparent has passed, this time the grandfather of undercover policeman Derrick Levasseur. Doing its due journalistic diligence, TMZ immediately hypothesized that there may be a dead-grandparent curse spreading through the cast and then reached out to the cast's remaining living grandparents. But don't worry, the grandmother of model Amber Borzotra is NOT worried about suddenly dying via a Big Brother curse, telling TMZ that "We don't believe in curses, when God calls my name I will go." But if we've learned anything from the Final Destination franchise, God works in mysterious ways and Death has a plan. Don't be too sure about that, grandma. [TMZ]

As we all know, the newest trend in celebrity Instagrams is the group selfie with other celebrities. But celebrities really took this trend to the next level at this past weekend's San Diego Comic-Con. Please enjoy this roundup of very geeky and fame-drenched celebrity group-selfies!

Here's Emma Roberts and the cast of the upcoming American Horror Story: Freak Show:

Here's dreamy Pedro Pascal's contribution to the rich tradition of Game of Thrones group shots:

And now the The Walking Dead cast:

Director Zack Snyder jumped in front of his three best bros, the cast of the upcoming Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Here's the cast of Arrow looking like a gaggle of common street vagrants!

You excited about Avengers: Age of Ultron?

Meanwhile, there were some more normal celebrity shenanigans still happening on Instagram as well.

Something something surfbort Beyoncé:

Any new Alex Pettyfer Instagram is a treasure:

I am honestly never, ever sure what exactly Mariah Carey is doing in her selfies, and I mean that as a compliment:

Same goes for this Austin Mahone shot. Because what on earth?

And finally, here's One Direction's Liam Payne faking everybody out with some possible nudity.

Sorry, everyone. Nobody deserved that.