Today in celebrity gossip: Leonardo DiCaprio and Adrian Grenier are tangentially involved in the suicide of a TV star's troubled husband, plus Rick Fox and Eliza Dushku have broken up, and a Survivor contestant was killed in a tragic accident.

Let's just get something straight about the Grim Reaper: That guy is a straight-up murderer and it doesn't matter if he was formally invited into a situation by the victim. You know? The Grim Reaper is a piece of trash and somebody really needs to put a stop to him, or push him into the ocean or something. Get out of here, forever, jerk. Get eaten by an orca. I just really hate the Grim Reaper, is what I'm saying. He's going to show up at least twice in today's column, fair warning.

Katie Cleary may not be a household name, unless your family's television is constantly tuned to Deal or No Deal, in which case, yeah, maybe Katie Cleary is a household name. Well, a few weeks ago at the Cannes Film Festival the gorgeous hostess (p.s. what exactly defines a 'hostess' on a game show where one hundred thousand ladies stand around smiling at the camera?) was photographed "canoodling" with actors Leonardo DiCaprio (Growing Pains) and Adrien Grenier (Drive Me Crazy). At the time this wasn't considered particularly scandalous seeing as Cleary had officially separated from her husband Andrew Stern back in April, but then this past Sunday Stern committed suicide by shooting himself in the head at a shooting range in San Fernando Valley. Now a spotlight is being shone on his troubled marriage to Cleary and what part, if any, those pictures with DiCaprio and Grenier played in his mental health. First of all, Page Six contacted a "source" close to DiCaprio who vehemently denies DiCaprio had any kind of relationship with Cleary: "Leo did not hook up with Katie Cleary. They briefly talked a club in Cannes, but that was it. She was clearly with Adrian Grenier." But according to Katie Cleary (through a representative who spoke to TMZ), Stern's suicide had "nothing to do" with those Cannes photos: "Cleary and Stern discussed the photos and they were a non-issue." But TMZ also spoke with some of Stern's friends who insist the photos were very much a source of anguish for Stern, and he felt "she was humiliating him by globetrotting and hobnobbing with celebs." In a separate, and somewhat weirder theory, TMZ believes Stern's suicide may have been hastened by his decision to quit hormone therapy cold turkey. According to their report, he'd been on a steady regime of injectable human growth hormones and testosterone to help "a waning libido" and after a year suddenly quit them which caused him to "spiral into a deep depression." So that's where we're at now. A clinically depressed man committed suicide IN PUBLIC and the angle is whether or not he did it because his soon-to-be-ex-wife had been sleeping with famous people. Is this celebrity gossip? Too late now. We're talking about it. But this story is so unbearably Hollywood it's probably going to be showing up in tabloids (and E! specials) for a while. Get ready. [Page Six, TMZ, TMZ]

Bad news for fans of celebrity romances with extreme height differentials: Eliza Dushku and Rick Fox have broken up! The actress formerly known as Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer had been dating the former NBA star for five years. (He'd previously been married to Vanessa L. Williams.) Page Six's primary angle in this story is that Dushku intends to move back to Boston now, because as she told the Boston Globe, "I’d rather be a little physically cold here than emotionally cold in L.A." Dang, Eliza Dushku, with whom have you been hanging out? Surrounding yourself with frenemies is NOT L.A.'s fault. But yeah. Eliza Dushku is no longer dating Rick Fox, which means they're both back on the market. Go for it, dear readers! [Page Six]

Sincerely terrible news: Survivor: Blood vs. Water contestant Caleb Bankston was killed yesterday in what's being described as a tragic, on the job railway accident. The 26-year-old Birmingham resident worked for the Alabama Warrior Railway and according to reports the train he was on derailed. On Survivor (during which he placed ninth overall) Bankston was best known as the quiet, reliable fiancé to the notorious Colton Cumbie and frequently baffled contestants by seeming entirely sweet and steadfastly supportive despite Colton's noxious tantrums and meltdowns. Just really, really sad. Which you don't need to hear from me, obviously, but what else is there to say? [People]

Not to sound like a common grump or basic grouch, but few tidbits of celebrity gossip are as boring as wedding or pregnancy or birth announcements. THAT BEING SAID, congratulations are in order to the very hilarious Michael Showalter (The State, Stella, Wet Hot American Summer) on the birth of his twins with wife Anne Kalin Ellis. You're probably going, 'Fine, but are they twin boys or twin girls or what?' Us Weekly does not—will not—say. Yet, this birth announcement is their exclusive, so. Maybe ask a follow-up question next time, Us Weekly? Just a gentle suggestion. But congratulations, Michael Showalter! [Us Weekly]

Is it really "rescuing" someone when it's a woman who's fallen down in a crosswalk and you simply carry her things to a nearby park bench? If so, then Billy Joel definitely rescued a woman recently! According to Page Six, a 65-year-old woman in East Hampton took a tumble in a crosswalk and Billy Joel got off his motorcycle to pick up her things while other samaritans helped the woman up. But the true limits of Billy Joel's goodwill toward men hadn't been reached yet, as he then proceeded to "chat with the unidentified woman as she sat on a nearby bench." What do you think they talked about? Christie Brinkley? "River of Dreams"? We may never know, and it's all Page Six's fault. [Page Six]

Here's Selena Gomez taking a glamorous selfie at some kind of medical clinic for common folk (where she's presumably getting her congested sinuses attended to, per her caption). I don't know:

Meanwhile Katy Perry's in Washington, DC, just sort of making the rounds at all the most popular tourist destinations. Here's a selfie she took with an unidentified elderly gentleman:

Lady Gaga removed the jewelry from her dog long enough to give it a bath:

What is Austin Mahone thinking about? Nothing? Everything? Consider this your discussion topic for the day.