The World Cup starts this week and there are more countries and players than you could conceivably shake a stick at. (Even experienced soccer fans have trouble keeping track of all the players, who scattered across as many leagues in as many countries, that each have over a dozen teams.) With that in mind, we have done intensive research into every country and that country's best player, so you can dazzle your friends with impressive knowledge when the one guy on Cameroon does something exciting. Here we go. 

Cameroon

Eto scores while playing for Chelea in March, via Indo New York

Best player: Samuel Eto'o

Why: The Cameroon squad is, frankly, a mess, but if anyone does something dazzling during their three group stage games it will be Eto'o. At 33, the smart and agile striker will have to rely on wits and instinct over athleticism, but his legs still have enough juice for one great goal at some point before the team is eliminated. 

Mexico

Peralta dances out of danger, via Bleacher Report

Best playerOribe Peralta

Why: The 30-year-old forward has been a beast in international play leading up to the tournament, scoring 10 goals during qualifying play. That is a lot of goals. Here, during this year's club season, Peralta spin moves between two defenders before booting the ball past the goaltender.  

Croatia

That backheel though, via Tumblr

Best playerIvan Rakitić

Why: The midfielder, along with his partner-in-crime Luka Modrić, will have to control the ball against Brazil and Cameroon to make sure Croatia's talented strikers have plenty of time to attack. Thankfully Rakitić's insane talent, on display in the GIF above when he backheels the ball to himself and then perfectly feeds a teammate while running top speed for an easy goal, should help his country plenty. 

Australia

Jedinak puts it just over the tender's hands

Best playerMile Jedinak

Why: The Australian team is full of young players and has no real hope of making it to the knockout round. They're fielding a squad that hopefully will contend, or at least not be so hopeless, come 2018. Midfielder Jedinak will be relied on to make something happen, anything, really. He's more than capable on his own, but the other teams in Australia's group will make life extremely difficult.

Chile

Sánchez sees your tiny scoring window, via ComGIFs

Best playerAlexis Sánchez

Why: Sánchez is one of the most athletic strikers in the world, a stop-and-start spark plug who can shake defenders off like it's nothing. Barcelona may sell him in the offseason too, so he's playing for a new contract. Expect him to make opposing defenders and goalies look human with his crazy precision scoring.

Netherlands

Physics do not apply to Van Persie, via ComGIFs

Best player: Robin Van Persie

Why: SB Nation figures Van Persie "might be the best natural finisher in the tournament," which means he scores goals by the bucketload. He single-handedly lead Manchester United to a Premier League trophy in 2012. The next year, while Van Persie battled injury, the club had their worst finish in history and fired their coach after a scant eight months. He's been criticized for chasing money (earning the nickname "Van Pursestrings") and for his fragility, but if he can stay healthy, he'll score goals from any angle, both through and around defenders. 

Spain

The goalie had no chance, via World Soccer Talk

Best player: David Silva

Why: The Spanish side is so strong you could pick anyone from their starting eleven — Sergio Ramos, Gerard Piqué, Xabi Alonso, Xabi, or Andrés Iniesta — and make a case that they're Spain's strongest player. But striker David Silva was the inescapable pest for Spain's 2010 World Cup win and now we suspect he'll be the inescapable veteran pest. If anyone gives Brazil trouble, it'll be Silva and the Spaniards.

Colombia

Best playerTeófilo Gutiérrez

Why: Normally we would talk about someone else here — Radamel Falcao — but injuries have a way of ruining all fun. Instead, the unpredictable Teófilo Gutiérrez will hopefully guide Colombia back to glory. He's a head case, sure, but one that can score goals at will. (No one ever praised Maradona for his sanity.)

Greece

Mitroglou is the one who scores from a mile away, via Tumblr

Best playerKostas Mitroglou

Why: Mitroglou has been injured for most of the last year but Greece plays a very defensive style of football, so the burden to put ball in net will fall on him, mostly. When he's healthy he can do amazing things, as seen in the GIF at right, but his inactivity over the last year is a concern. 

Ivory Coast

Yaya, bish! Yaya! via 101 Great Goals

Best playerYaya Touré

Why: Manchester City fans know Yaya well. Ask them what makes him great, and you best settle in for ten minutes of non-stop fan-girling. He can defend and score in equal measure. He can also run like the wind, and hit a bullseye blindfolded. Sheesh. 

Japan

Honda with the finish, via Tumblr

Best playerKeisuke Honda

Why: The midfielder "is Japan’s everything, at least on the attack," according to SB Nation. He's one of the young soccer nation's most succesful players, playing for Milan when not serving his country. But he'll need to repeat his stunning 2010 performance, when he played like a man possessed, if Japan hopes to make it out of their group alive. 

Costa Rica

Best player: Joel Campbell

Why: Was this goal scored with luck or skill? If you said luck, you're wrong.

England

From doooowntown! via The Score

Best player: Wayne Rooney

Why: England's hopes and dreams will rest on Rooney's shoulders — he'll bear the brunt of the scrutiny when they lose, and revel in the most glory when they win, regardless of the circumstances. More than anyone else, this is his team, so he'll have to score goals at the superstar clip expected of him. Manchester United fans have their heads in their hands, because Rooney can be a headache. But he usually shows up in international play. Let's hope he does this time, too. 

Italy

Other goalies be like: -_-, via The Score

Best playerMario Balotelli

Why: Balotelli is the perfect kind of "Italian soccer crazy" you want at World Cup time. One of the best goal scorers in the world, solid defender, beautiful ball carrier, unselfish teammate, and just plain cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs off the pitch. He's a personal favorite, and I can't wait to watch Balotelli do his thing. The GIF at right is a guided missile from 40 yards away. But also, one time he hit Diego Costa in the nads

Uruguay

Dreamers dream of making plays like that, via balls.ie

Best player: Luis Suárez

Why: This isn't even a question, it's Suárez in a walk. He's like soccer's Alex Rodriguez. Incredibly talented, intelligent, and just the most evil piece of garbage in the game today. People haaaaaate Suárez with the power of a thousand suns. (Everton fans: nodding.) But damn if he isn't beautiful to watch if you have no rooting interest. He scores goals that defy time and space. Gear up for Uruguay's games by reading this wonderful ESPN profile from Wright Thompson that explains why Suarez is more hated than the devil himself. 

Ecuador

Valencia slides in for the finish, via Bleacher Report 

Best playerAntonio Valencia

WhyEcuador will lean on captain Valencia for both leadership and offense if they hope to survive France and Switzerland. Valencia, who plays for Manchester United, has the speed, touch and vision to help feed the ball to Ecuador's other forwards, notably Jefferson Montero, the young midfielder.

France

Howwwww does he do that, via Tumblr

Best playerPaul Pogba

Why: Pogba is a hulking center-midfielder who is perhaps one of best ball handlers in the world. He sees your impressive goals, and then raises them with whatever is happening at right. Scientists are still befuddled by what's happening there. Good luck, rest of the world. 

Honduras

Best playerRoger Espinoza

Why: Honduras has one of the weakest squads in the tournament, but Espinoza, a Wigan Athletic bench player, will be relied on to anchor the team.

Switzerland

Shaqiri threads the needle, via the Fantasia 

Best playerXherdan Shaqiri

Why: At 22 years old, he's already done stints at Manchester United and Bayern Munich, two of the world's domestic soccer powers — that should indicate the kind of talent we're dealing with here. Shaqiri is also pretty enough to steal your girl without breaking a sweat

Argentina

Messi originated the phrase "cool story, bro," via BR

Best playerLionel Messi

Why: Hahahaha, look at this, look at it. Messi is a God among men. Opposing players literally bow in his presence. You cannot stop him. You can only hope to contain him

 

Bosnia and Herzegovina

FLYING CRANE KICK, via Fansided

Best playerEdin Džeko

Why: Manchester City striker Džeko will be the one pocketing most of Bosnia's goals in the tournament. After his impressive domestic campaign, City supporters will do nothing but nod silently while the rest of the world realizes his immense talent. 

Nigeria

Best playerVincent Enyeama

Why: As the team's goalkeeper, he has to stop Lionel Messi. 

Iran

Best playerReza Ghoochannejhad (pron. wtf)

Why: Ghoochannejhad scored nine goals in 11 qualifying matches and generally plays an attacking style of play. Iran needs him to keep that pace if they hope to advance. 

Germany

Best playerBastian Schweinsteiger

Why: Schweinsteiger became a household name during Germany's last World Cup run, and the country will need more of that immaculate play from the Bayern Munich mainstay. He has battled injury, sure. It's a concern. But if he stays healthy, Germany can contend for the title. 

Portugal

Ronaldo with the Zlatan impression, via @PostSports

Best playerCristiano Ronaldo

Why: Ronaldo would probably be considered the best player in the world if it wasn't for his crosstown rival, Barca's Lionel Messi. Ronaldo would probably be considered the most evil player in the world it wasn't for Luis Suarez. He's the second best, but do not count him out. Ronaldo is the Kevin Durant of soccer — except, you know, with a bit of swagger and a supermodel girlfriend — he can still win games by himself. 

In Altidore we trust, maybe, via The Big Lead

Best playerJozy Altidore

Why: If the U.S. hopes to keep pace with the likes of Portugal, they'll have to get the ball onto Altidore's foot and hope the young phenom does what he does best. Blessed with jaw dropping raw talent, Altidore has established himself as one of the best players to ever emerge from the U.S. system, but he can be frustratingly streaky. Thankfully he's scoring goals like this in tune-up games before the World Cup.  

Ghana

He choses not to acknowledge the five defenders, via Tumblr

Best playerKwadwo Asamoah

Why: If you need any more explanation as to why Juventas striker Asamoah will be Ghana's best player, you're being obtuse. Five guys in the box couldn't stop his beautiful dribbling on that play. (This GIF gives you an even better look at his footwork.) Anyway, good luck, U.S.A.! Have fun stopping him. 

Belgium

Best player: Romelu Lukaku

Why: Lukaku can bully and outrun defenders, which is normally a lethal combination, but only goes so far at the international level. He'll need to be technically brilliant if Belgium wants to sneak into the semi-finals. (Yes, that is a hidden prediction. Bet on it.)

South Korea

Don't get in the way, via MemeDeportes

Best player: Son Heung-Min

Why: A versatile attacker and one of the top players in the German league. Also, a cannon shot. 

Russia

The goalie kinda gives up mid-air, via The Score

Best player: Aleksandr Kokorin

Why: Kokorin can play midfield or on the attack, and he's got the touch and speed to terrify defenders. He'll be the center piece that Russia forms their attack around, no matter where he's positioned on the field. 

Algeria

Somehow Bougherra wasn't offsides here, via Bleacher Report

Best playerMadjid Bougherra

Why: Bougherra is the team's most experienced international player. He'll be leaned on heavily to balance an otherwise unexperienced Algerian team. 

 

 

Brazil

Shakes off a tackle and splits two defenders, via All About Barca

Best player: Neymar

Why: Picking the best player on Brazil's World Cup squad, perhaps the most balanced team in the tournament, is silly. They're stacked from the net to the attack. They're the favorites for a reason. You could make an argument for Hulk. You could make an argument for Paulinho. You could make an argument for David Luiz. You could make an argument for Oscar. But more than anyone, Seleção will rely on the other-worldy talents of Neymar to lead the squad to victory. He's fast, strong, creative, poised and deadly. If anyone beats Brazil, it will be because they somehow shut down Neymar. I don't know how to do that though.