The Daily Show took last week off, which meant Jon Stewart missed the initial coverage of the Isla Vista shooting that left seven people dead. So he spent last night's episode explaining why this time feels different.
Catching up quickly, Stewart ran through last week's most important news items: "Head of the VA resigned there, we got the true love conquered all ... Oh! There was another mass shooting! Seems like that happens every time we're off for a week ... or when we're working for a week. Actually pretty much happens every fucking week."
So much so that Google has apparently changed the Streetview in Maps to first person shooter:
"But America's response to this new tragedy has given me hope," Stewart said. Whereas all the other mass shootings recently were met with "confusion and despair" as the public and media searched for explanations (like divorce, apparently? "That's why 50 percent of all marriages end in mass shootings," Stewart quipped), we've seemed to move beyond that now.
"Something amazing has happened. A breakthrough, if you will, in the way that we deal with the incredibly unique amount of mass shootings we currently experience in this country," Stewart said. "Our grief has moved, as Dr. Kübler-Ross said it would, from denial to anger to bargaining to depression to our most resolved emotional state. I give you: acceptance."
According to Stewart, "that's where we were trying to get all along. It's like America has a dog that's always shitting inside the house, and we solved the problem by getting a brown rug."
But the news still has to cover these shootings, so The Daily Show presented a "comprehensive, reusable, one-size-fits-all mass shooting coverage go kit to get everybody back to apathy as quickly as possible."
The correspondents broke it down:
Jodan Klepper: "Another mass shooting this afternoon. This is a shocking, horrifying story."
Jason Jones: "The cause, no one can say for sure. Possibly media violence or dubstep or gluten. But definitely something that is not guns."
Jessica Williams: "Of course there's nothing we can do to stop this from happening. Even though pretty much every other developed country has stopped this from happening."
Samantha Bee: "And since we can't always stop this from happening, why ever try to stop it from happening? So ... we're good? OK, let's get back to the news."
Roll Pharrell's "Happy."