CNN ran an interview with Donald Sterling last night, in which he apologized for that infamous recording of him saying horrible things, all the while saying more horrible things. In honor of the occasion, Jon Stewart brought out a new segment: "Wow, Did Not See That Coming."
On last night's episode of The Daily Show, Stewart broke down the new Sterling interview bit by bit. First, Sterling said he was "so sorry" for his comments. "That was Clippers owner Donald Sterling, taking back his words of intolerance. As well as reminding us what the Cowardly Lion looks like without makeup," Stewart said. And he's got a point (apologies to Bert Lahr):
"He admitted he was at fault. It's time to put this awful business behind us," Stewart said. Well, except for the fact that Sterling asked, "Am I entitled to one mistake after 35 years?"
"It's not one mistake. In case you forgot you were already the subject of what was at the time the largest apartment discrimination lawsuit settlement in U.S. history ... My guess is that was really your one-mistake chip. Or was that more of a snafu?" Stewart explained.
Another of Sterling's excuses: "I don't know why the girl had me say those things," he said on CNN, referring to V. Stiviano.
Stewart-as-Sterling translates: "I was just reading for a part in a new sitcom, 'Shit My Old Racist Sugar Daddy Says.'"
And then Sterling made some, well, unfortunate comments about Magic Johnson: "Has he done everything he can do to help minorities? I don't think so."
Stewart: "I'm starting to think this whole secretly recording Donald Sterling and then leaking it to the media thing is an enormous waste of time. Because clearly, you can put him in front of cameras, where he can see them, with lots of lights, and go, 'So, what's on your mind?' And let the crazy fly."