Today in celebrity gossip: Gwyneth Paltrow will be victimized no longer, Justin Bieber finally responded to Seth Rogen's hate, and Lady Gaga threw major shade at Katy Perry.

Note: If grown women referring to themselves as "mommy" is one of your triggers, you may want to skip this item. A few weeks ago Gwyneth Paltrow gave an interview in which she very clearly stated that being a working actress on Gwyneth Paltrow's level was a much harder life than the average working mom faces:

I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as--of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.

[Emphasis mine.] To this claim there was, of course, rebuttal. Well, suck it, haters, because Gwyneth Paltrow is putting all y'all on blast! In a new post on Goop, Paltrow claimed her quote had been taken "out-of-context" and rather than apologize or even sufficiently clarify what she'd meant by it, she claims her words were being used by haters "as an opportunity to express feelings (perhaps projected) on the subject." Yep, it's the working moms protesting her statement who are jerks, not Gwyneth Paltrow. She then went on to lambaste her detractors as being endemic to a larger problem:

As the mommy wars rage on, I am constantly perplexed and amazed by how little slack we cut each other as women. . . Why do we feel so entitled to opine, often so negatively, on the choices of other women?

Uh, maybe because Goop and other lifestyle portals exist to facilitate the exchange of ideas between like-minded women and Goop's mere existence implies that Gwyneth Paltrow seems to believe she has ideas that are superior and worth disseminating? And sometimes there are disagreements about whether these ideas actually are superior or not, and this discourse is actually necessary to help people decide what is or isn't right for them? And most of all, sometimes oblivious, wealthy jerks need to be called out for having inadvertently shamed an entire working class? Just a thought. But to be fair, Gwyneth Paltrow probably does deserve to be cut some slack. 12-14 hour days are indeed difficult, particularly when you only have 9 months of vacation a year. I wouldn't wish that schedule on anybody! [Page Six]

Oh, finally, Justin Bieber has responded to Seth Rogen's vicious, months-long campaign of hate against him. Responding to Rogen's accusation that Bieber had once requested face time with Rogen backstage at an awards show only to act aloof in his presence thus necessitating Rogen to deem Bieber "a piece of sh**," Bieber had this to say:

Haha, nice misspelling of Rogen's last name, and even nicer shade re: not 'bowing down'. And ending it all with a compliment? Let us never forget that Bieber is a teenager, and no grown man will ever be able to touch a teen's ability for sheer bitchiness. Anyway, yeah. For some reason Rogen's assessment of Bieber's 'tude still stands? Weird. [Us Weekly]

Are you in the mood for more shade-throwing? How about between two legit pop divas? Only days after Katy Perry unveiled her new Prismatic Tour stage show extravaganza, Lady Gaga took to Twitter to cast the shade of an ancient, majestic oak tree:

Ha-HA! Now, a few things about this. One, Lady Gaga has been outspoken in the past about staying positive and not bullying and all that, so it seems sliiiightly hypocritical for her to be starting beefs with her ostensible peers like this. But on the other hand, yeah, Katy Perry is about as desperately derivative as they come. Great voice! Seems nice! Admirably spunky! But come on, almost every fashion choice, visual concept, or motif she attempts feels like she's about ten minutes behind the curve. From the years 2010-2013 she was constantly showing up to awards shows in wacky costumes only to frown in the shadows while Lady Gaga one-upped her at every turn. That being said, Lady Gaga needs to chill about thinking she invented green wigs or whatever. With the sheer number of looks she's paraded around in, there's nothing anybody could wear these days that wouldn't be reminiscent of something she'd been photographed in. But anyway, yeah: Lady Gaga and Katy Perry have a beef now, I guess. Let's see if Katy Perry throws it back or if she sorta pretends it's all in good fun, as she did when Miley Cyrus clowned her in interviews a few months ago. Fingers crossed! [Us Weekly]

Here's a beef-slash-shade situation that turned out not to be: Last week Ariana Grande performed her new single "Problem" at the iHeart Radio Awards and at one point the camera cut to Rihanna sitting in the audience laughing seemingly derisively. But according to Ariana Grande, that wasn't the case! "It looked like she was just shocked because I was doing something different," Grande explained on an Australian radio show. “[Rihanna] was just being playful and supportive." Uh, that works! That explanation seems fine. I mean, Rihanna is a known trickster and occasional mean girl and the iHeart Radio Awards footage certainly SEEMED like she was laughing meanly at whatever was happening on stage, but it's probably best that we just take Ariana Grande's word for it if only to help Ariana Grande keep her dignity intact. Nobody, not even an up-and-coming pop-star with a bright future, wants to go to bed at night believing that Rihanna laughed at them in public. That would be too much to bear, quite frankly. Meanwhile, Rihanna's Instagram account (which frequently included mean internet memes making fun of weirdos and fans) has been deactivated. That's not necessarily relevant to this Ariana Grande thing, but it also seemed too minor to make its own item. It's a celebrity Instagram mystery! [Us Weekly]

Forget 'going makeup free' or 'flaunting baby bumps,' the newest most popular celebrity trend is the hospitalization selfie! We truly live in a golden age of celebrities taking selfies while hospitalized, and after Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus invented the form, British pop-star Lily Allen continues the tradition! Here she is after being hospitalized following a bout of "projectile vomiting":

Meanwhile Hugh Jackman's moneymaker (his face) has been jeopardized yet again by skin cancer! He captioned his hospital selfie with a heartfelt warning to fans, "Another Basel Cell Carsinoma. All out now...PLEASE! PLEASE! WEAR SUNSCREEN!"

This next one is not a hospital selfie, thank G, but let's hope Ricky Martin WAS wearing sunscreen:

Martin captioned this one "Hahaha caught off guard." Yep, that was definitely the appeal of this photo, Ricky Martin. Not the speedo or body or any of that. It was the being caught off guard part.

And finally, here are Demi Lovato and Avril Lavigne and their semi-shaved heads hanging out backstage at one of Lavigne's shows.

Lavigne captioned this "Backstage Twinzies with my Girl Demi Lavato!" Uh, Avril, it's spelled Lovato. Demi, check yo girl.