Insane protocols were enacted to enshroud the Italian wedding of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian in secrecy. They totally failed. 

It started with a slow build. Starting late last month month, the predictable and substantial media ecosystem bloomed around the secretive nuptials. There were fake guest lists circulating, fake invitations, fake dresses, and countless tales of would-be snubs and slights. Would it be in France? Would it be in Italy? Would there be fighter jets?

Then stories emerged about the West/Kardashian lavish rehearsal dinner at Versailles with a performance by Lana Del Ray. There was a private plane to Italy for wedding guests. And, of course, once it was determined that the wedding would be held at the Forte di Belvedere, a Medici descendant spoke out,  offended enough by the affair to reach out to UNESCO. 

But few other details have leaked out ahead of the lavish festivities. A private security firm has kept curious fans, paparazzi and television cameras from getting too close to the site, a Renaissance stronghold with high sloping walls that have been boosted by specially erected privacy screens.

For the guests, there were murmurs about a "no-selfie" rule to be enforced with an iron fist: "guests will be asked to hand in their mobile phones to stop anyone taking 'selfies' or other pictures." And word of a 15-page confidentiality agreement

Then, despite all this, one grainy, blurry photo from @kimobsessed came along:

It quickly got picked up, far and wide. Soon, blurry pictures of the wedding dress surfaced. And there went everything!

It's hardly worth typing that Kimye's rigid demand for privacy smacks of irony given the publicity so intensely often sought by everyone involved in this spectacle, but there, I said it. Congrats Kimye!