Today in celebrity gossip: Selena Gomez currently hates all of her friends, Justin Bieber was questioned at LAX for four hours, and Miley Cyrus is out of the hospital.

Sometimes someone makes you wanna throw your pager out the window. Other times you want to tell MCI to cut the phone calls or, in certain extreme circumstances, have AOL make your emails stop. Because everything they do be buggin you, they buggin' you, they buggin' you. Just ask Selena Gomez! After what must have been a particularly unfun Coachella, the part-time actor/singer and full-time celebrity unfollowed her former besties Kendall and Kylie Jenner on Instagram and also deleted all the pictures she'd posted of herself and Kylie hanging out together. Oh, and while she was at it, Gomez also unfollowed Justin Bieber for good measure which would seem to throw water onto whatever lingering spark of romance they'd been rekindling of late. According to TMZ, Gomez apparently had some kind of epiphany out in the desert "where she was surrounded by booze and drugs" and suddenly realized her friends were "nothing but a toxic distraction." So now that she's unfollowed everybody on Instagram, what will she focus on NOW? Music, apparently, and also "going to church almost daily." Selena Gomez is basically living out her role in Spring Breakers FOR REAL. By any chance have the Jenners robbed a fast food restaurant recently? Has Justin Bieber fellated a handgun in the past week? Somebody should look into these things ASAP. [TMZ]

When the Universe gives you repeated, consistent signs that you probably shouldn't ever leave the house, at some point you should take heed. Fresh from his stint offending most of Asia for accidentally ripping open the wounds of historical atrocity, Justin Bieber returned to the United States only to find himself detained by customs officials at LAX for FOUR hours. Though airport personnel insist that this very long screening was a normal thing for all foreign nationals, it took four hours for Bieber because the interview entailed thorough questioning about all his recent criminal activities. That includes DUI arrests, egg yolk vandalism, bodyguard assaults, and also captioning a selfie "I am fashion." Sorry, but Homeland Security is very strict on that last one. Anyway, please don't lose sleep tonight... Justin Bieber's four-hour LAX ordeal is over and he's home safe and sound and snuggled up on the pile of stuffed animals he sleeps on, per usual. [Page Six, Us Weekly]

Now that the man accusing Bryan Singer and several other high-powered industry figures of rape has made himself fully heard, it's time for all of the accused to categorically deny any wrongdoing. It's not like any of them were going to be like, "Oh, yeah, I definitely raped that underage teen. That was me. Take me to jail." Now Bryan Singer himself has finally addressed the pending civil lawsuit and it should come as no surprise that he is not thrilled about the allegations. Here's what he said to The Hollywood Reporter: "The allegations against me are outrageous, vicious and completely false... I promise when this situation is over, the facts will show this to be the sick twisted shakedown it is." Tastefully, he added: "I do not want these fictitious claims to divert ANY attention from X-Men: Days of Future Past. This fantastic film is a labor of love and one of the greatest experiences of my career." There you have it. Bryan Singer would like you to put all thoughts of child rape out of your mind and enjoy his $300 million, four-quadrant tentpole release, please. [Us Weekly]

Last week fans of self-consciously lurid yet candy-colored spectacle were saddened to learn that Miley Cyrus had postponed her remaining U.S. tour dates so that she could recover from a severe allergic reaction to antibiotics. Usually when celebrities report to the hospital for mysterious or unusual reasons it usually implies a party gone wrong (or too right wink wink), but when Cyrus' hospital stay turned into a week-long ordeal it became clear she was truly going through some bad times. Anyway, she's fine now! According to Us Weekly Cyrus "has left the hospital and is now preparing to return to the road for the European leg of her Bangerz tour." So, uh, please proceed to make your puff-paint t-shirts and buy your candy necklaces or whatever it is kids do these days before concerts. Miley is BACK. [Us Weekly]

Disgraced basketball player and North Korean bro code practitioner Dennis Rodman is up to his old rascally ways again! The star of Double Team "was thrown out of two Miami restaurants Wednesday night after an off-the-wall meltdown" in which he "was reportedly screaming and slapping guests on the back as hard as he could." A fairly typical night out for Dennis Rodman, but in this case the cops were called. After they kicked him out, Rodman headed to restaurant #2 where he smoked a cigar in a non-smoking restaurant and proceed to sit down with "a family he didn’t know" and order drinks on their tab. Dennis Rodman seems very normal and chill, just in general. Remember when he played himself in B.A.P.S? 1997 was a good year. [Page Six]

For enthusiasts of #ThrowbackThursday as observed by unexpected celebrities, this one's for you: A young and very brunette Anderson Cooper "in Zaire in 1985 when I was 17 and driving across Sub-Saharan Africa." Just a classic teenage road trip:

Last and most, here is a picture of DJ Jazzy Jeff and somebody named "The Fresh Prince" clearly star struck to be standing near the legendary Elvira.