As every avid Scandal watcher knows, our beloved show is melodramatic, predictable and kind of not that good. But still, we watch, and each increasingly over-the-top episode tends to hit the same marks. The "OMG" moment, the monologue to end all monologues and the super risky moment when Olivia Pope drinks a glass of wine in white silk pajamas — these are the things we've come to love about the show. Each Friday, we'll update our Scandal checklist and assess how ridiculous our Thursday night was. Spoilers ahead!
"Flesh and Blood"
Scandal watchers don't ask for a lot. We understand that Fitz, President of the United States and main love interest, is an emotionally manipulative man-child. We accept the fact that everyone overacts in nearly every scene. We don't care that the show only has a passing understanding of the United States election process (does Sally Langston even have a VP candidate? Why does Fitz think the NAACP would endorse him, let alone Sally Langston?)
For "Flesh and Blood" I just wanted a few things: I wanted Papa Pope to keep delivering excellent monologues, I wanted Quinn and Huck to take up minimal screen time and, most importantly, and I wanted to see Fitz blown up by a bomb. I am zero for three.
OMG moment: The bomb didn't go off. Last week, they promised us a bomb and there was no bomb. The surprise should be that Cyrus did nothing to stop the bomb, putting Sally, at least a few members of Congress, and Fitz's future vice president in danger. Andrew's presence at the funeral is key — Mellie doesn't deserve to have her one love interest killed in a terrorist attack meant for Fitz.
Drinking red wine in white clothes: More Mellie drinking – this time as she decides to tell Fitz that Jerry isn't his with a paternity test, then changes her mind. Next season, we may change this category to Mellie, No Chaser.
Mellie being better than everyone else: Fitz, as oblivious as ever, notes that someone out there wants him dead. Mellie laughs. "You think it's just out there?"
A reminder that Fitz is the worst character: The Checklist is always evolving, and in recent weeks there haven't been many noteworthy flashbacks. However, Fitz can always be counted on to remind you that any good thing about Scandal exists in spite of him. This week, he argued that he should go get blown up so Sally Langston won't win the NAACP endorsement.
Fitz: She's taking votes, Liv. NOW, Emily's List, the NAACP.
Olivia: The NAACP is not supporting Sally Langston.
Fitz: But they could.
Olivia: They won't. Have you met Sally?
Fitz: I'm telling you I'm losing.
Olivia: I'm telling you I'm black.
An over-the-top monologue: Papa Pope apologizes for killing Dominic Bell, Maya Pope's lover, in Olivia's office.
I'm sorry. I've waited a long time, a very long time to kill that man. I'm sorry that when the opportunity arose it was here in your office. I'm sorry, but it was necessary. I needed to be done. It had to be done ... because our life was a lie, yours and mine. A fiction spun by the two of them. Dominic Bell was her partner, in everything.
Look, if Papa Pope is actually dying, as the end of the episode/next week's teaser suggests, at least he's dying bitter and with blood on his hands.
Good couple moment: Abby tells David to stay useful to Jake so he'll stay alive. Good couples support each other when times get tough, like when bitter leaders of dismantled shadowy government agencies threaten to kill you.
Bad couple moment: McKenzie Miller (Juliette Goglia, of the late un-lamented Michael J. Fox Show) dated and slept with young Jerry Grant in order to get his DNA for Leo Bergen (all part of Leo's plan to get proof that Jerry isn't Fitz's son). Other than tweeting horrible things about his dad from an anonymous Twitter account, Jerry seems like a good kid who doesn't deserve that.
A dumb plot line that won't go away: No one asked for this.
Tweet that sums up the episode:
Death by flip phone. Nobody wants that on their tombstone. #Scandal— BlackGirlNerds (@BlackGirlNerds) April 11, 2014